"Get it off at.. The Bikini Shop"
When the wealthy owner of a beach-front bikini shop goes out to ride some late night waves and never returns, her assets must be dished out to her two nephews, the serious-minded college-grad Alan (Michael David Wright) and the fun-loving cheeky chap Todd (Bruce Greenwood). The brothers couldn't be more different; Alan is on the verge of marrying the daughter of an influential businessman, while carefree Todd is only occupied by his newly acquired ticket to paradise. Problems arise when the brothers must agree on what to do with their inheritance, which now includes swanky condo on the beach. Upon arrival at the house, Alan, briefcase in hand, is set to have it all sold and a deal sealed before the end of summer. Todd, on the other hand, has already made himself a permanent fixture.
It isn't until the boys are introduced to Ida's Bikini Shop that opinions really begin to clash. Surrounded by half-naked women and three beautiful salesgirls - Ronnie, Cindy and Kathy - Todd is in heaven. "I think i've found my calling", he chimes. Alan still only has one thing on his mind and unlike his brother, it isn't skin! And it becomes all the more evident over the days to come when, to his horror, Alan discovers the new two-way "safety" mirrors that have been installed in the changing rooms for his brothers' convenience! Todd also manages to scare off the first prospective buyers when it is revealed that the store has been in debt for years. But bad things really do come in threes for Alan as the salesgirls from the store turn up on the doorstep of the condo carrying boxes and on instruction from Todd, move in with the guys. Whatever will Alan's bratty wife-to-be back in Chicago say about this? Especially since he and brunette beaut Ronnie begin to hit it off..
A couple of old codgers are the next to show an interest in the store, and it is Alan's responsibility to persuade them that Ida's is exactly what they're looking for. Even if it does mean lying about how "peaceful and quiet" the beach-front location is! They're about to all learn the hard way when, on arrival, they're greeted by an eye-popping display of flesh, accompanied by blaring music and a rowdy crowd of onlookers! The bemused elderly couple can hardly compare to a stupefied Alan, who is completely floored by the surprise "tanlines contest" laid on by none other than his brother. Just about ready to grab Todd by the throat, he is stopped in his tracks by Ronnie, who gives him some welcome news about the success of the event which had bikinis flying off the rails and profits racking up. "Your brother was just trying to impress you - just relax and enjoy yourself for once!". And with that, Alan has a realization: this bikini shop business might just work, and his brother? He isn't such a bad guy!
To celebrate, Alan, Todd, Ronnie, Cindy and Kathy throw a huge party at the house later that evening. The serious, business-minded Alan is nowhere to be found as he and Ronnie spend a little time together - but the timing couldn't be worse. Seconds away from 'fessing up how much he likes her, Alan and Ronnie are interrupted by the one person they never expected to see - his fiancee! It is when Jane (Debra Blee) decides to stick around until the store is sold that Alan sees what a huge mistake he is making in marrying such a spoilt and overbearing daddies-girl. Unimpressed with the carefree Californian lifestyle, pushy Jane insists Ida's Bikini Shop is sold as soon as possible, to Alan's dismay. Todd is quick to see Jane for what she is and knows just how strong a grasp she has on his brother, who is obviously unhappy with the future that has been planned for him.
Before long, obnoxious Jane gets her own way and the store is signed over to a religious fruitcake with plans to turn the place into some sort of temple for meditation. At the last minute, Alan comes to his senses, declaring the store is no longer for sale. But there's a problem. He already sold it! And now, the only thing left to do is buy it back, which wouldn't be such a problem if the price hadn't just been raised by a hefty six thousand dollars! They've got two weeks to come up with a plan of action and raise the money, or else Ida's Bikini Shop will be gone for good. And not forgetting Alan's (now ex) fiancee, who wants revenge, and will stop at nothing to get it.
VERDICT: ★★★
What do we have here? Might this be another shamelessly tacky beach movie, strung together with about a twelve dollar budget, a wafer-thin plot and clearly not enough fabric in the costume department to cover up all the ladies? Check, check, check. This breed of movie was not in short supply in eighties; Private Resort, Summer Job, Spring Break, Hot Moves, Hardbodies, Senior Week.. The list goes on. But all that doesn't stop The Bikini Shop from being one of the better of the bunch, and as much as it is, was and always will be a cinematic monstrosity, it is also a wondrous piece of time-stamped celluloid, instantly recognisable as a mid-eighties throwaway comedy. And as tasteless as it may be, it is about as tame as you're going to get in the R-rated category. But do not fear! It isn't a movie that offers only boobage, so the fact there isn't an awful lot of it doesn't matter. How can you resist a movie sporting box art with such gloriously gaudy hues? And how can you resist watching it once you've picked up the box and noticed Bruce Greenwood's face on the back? The Malibu Bikini Shop is the ultimate summer romp, with a final scene that easily triumphs over that of any other beach movie. It has aged with less grace than the biggest shoulder pads, and isn't ashamed to proudly emblazon its cheapness upon every one of its ninety-nine minutes of runtime. So for all the above reasons, and a whole lot more, The Malibu Bikini Shop rocks.
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SOUNDTRACK:
Another for the unreleased catalogue, and the chances of locating any of these tracks are extremely slim indeed - unfortunate, since this stuff is first-rate corn on the cob (with a side order of cheese on toast).
1. Into Something Good - Skip Adams
2. Party Night - Light
3. If The Love Fits - Jacie Berry
4. Girls Of Rock N Roll - Carter Robertson, Tami Holbrook, Jacie Berry & Penny Sommer
5. One Thing Leads To Another - Chris Farren
6. Lookin' - Naomi Delgado
7. Just Remember - Executive
8. Don't Let The Moment Go - Jaunice Charmaine
9. We Found Love - Chris Farren
10. Give Me Your Love To Dream On - Steve Eaton
11. Silly Boy - Tami Holbrook
12. You Make Me Nervous - Diana DeWitt
13. Running With A Stranger - Chris Farren
