80's Teen Movies :: the classic, the obscure & everything in between: 1987

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Senior Week [1987]

"The best week of your life."

Everett (Michael St. Gerard) has a problem: Senior Week. The seven days of carefree capers and non-stop party madness before graduation. To all the other kids at school, this is the event of the year. But Everett is in trouble, in debt. Not money, but a term paper. And without it, grizzly Miss Bagley is on a mission to bring his graduation to a grinding halt. Things are so bad that Everett is even having nightmares about naked chicks laughing at his misfortune. So much for wet dreams! As little as he wants to fail school, the week of debauchery is calling his name. But, being the sensible student that he is, makes the decision to get himself out of the doghouse and complete the term paper.. So, he kidnaps the school nerd and holds him hostage!

Persuading geeky Jody to write the paper in return for a week of partying with him and his two best buds Jamie and Kevin, Everett and the guys pile into the car and spend the night road trippin' to the Sunshine State. Meanwhile, upon hearing of their departure, a fuming Miss Bagley as well as Jamies' jealous girlfriend Tracy hatch plans to locate the guys and give them a piece of their mind.

Checking into the only available ten dollar sleazeball motel, order of business for Everett and the boys is to first hit the sands and hunt for as many scantily clad beach babes as they can lay their hands on. A night of strip poker, arcades and nightclubs await, followed by a true genre staple: the dirty dream sequence! A dozen topless imaginary bimbos later and it is back to reality for our protagonists, one of which is astonished to find his ill-tempered girlfriend on the doorstep, bitter from his club antics involving another broad. Meanwhile, Everett and Kevin have a comical run-in with the owners of a local grease joint, with bloodcurdling Miss Bagley hot on their tail.

Back at the motel, frustrated Jody - who is still caught up writing the English paper - blows his top and confronts Everett. "You said you'd bring me back a girl. You told me that yesterday before you went to the beach, you told me that last night before you went out, and you told me that again today. What about our deal, huh? Look, you brought me down here, and all I do is sit at that table and write YOUR term paper!.. That's it! I've had enough!". And with that, he abandons both the paper and the lads and before long happens upon a girl of his own, who is none other than Tracys' goofy cousin; Debbie Sue. To Everett, Kevin and Jamies' surprise, they later find the two in a bath full of whipped cream!

In the shadow of being "cheated on", Tracy sets out to boost her self esteem and bag a new guy, only making things worse when the one who shows an interest in her is unveiled as a complete douche. Luckily, Everett and the guys come to her rescue and realizing how she still has eyes for Jamie, they get back together. But there are further complications to come! Chaos ensues as the gang are at long last pounced on by ferocious Miss Bagley, who demands the overdue term paper there and then. As the essay is about to be turned over, Everett runs into trouble with the douchebag who had earlier tried it on with Tracy. The paper is stolen, and it is a race to the finish as the bad guys are chased across the beach in dune buggies. Of course, the movie doesn't end without Everett bagging a gorgeous babe and making it to graduation in the nick of time. Go to hell Miss beastly Bagley!

VERDICT: ★★

There are some movies that sink below the bottom of the barrel, and intended to from the word go. Such is the case with Senior Week - the embodiment of "USA Up All Night" in the eighties. As for the tag line "the best week of your life" - well, that's exactly how long it felt watching this movie. Calling it "the best" is another matter entirely.

Slating Senior Week for what it is is impossible. The reason being that it never did anything wrong (or should that be right?!) in the first place. It was meant to be a no-brainer movie, full of gratuitous boobies, atrociously acted characters and bad dialogue. It was supposed to fall at the wayside. And, well. It ticks all of those boxes. And for that, ladies and gentlemen, Senior Week deserves an A+. Back in the real world it deserves burning. But here, in the kingdom of the substandard, we'll soak up the Florida sunshine, laugh at the mediocrity, and throw it a couple of stars.

PICTURES/VIDEOS: [movie clip]

SOUNDTRACK:

1. Your Picture - Buzzy King
2. Baby Talk - The Laurels
3. Feel Like Jumping - William Orbit
4. Tears in My Beer - Brent Maglia
5. Bustin ' Surfboards - The Bongo Teens
6. Anxious Moments - Merlin Moran
7. Made in America - French Lick
8. I Got The Feelin' - The Walters
9. Without You - Nocera
10. Big Band B-Boy - Mantronix
11. Dance With Me - Lords of the New Church
12. Surfin' Bongos - The Bongo Teens
13. Beautiful Women - Albatross
14. Back To Burn - T. La Rock
15. White Night - Torch Song featuring William Orbit
16. Hard Core Hip-Hop - Mantronix
17. A Night Out - Urban Blight
18. All My Love - Nocera
19. In The Summertime - Beat Rodeo
20. She's The Girl That I Love - Goldmania
21. Ju Ju Hand - Sam The Sham and The Pharoahs
22. Bongo Bongo Bongo - Preston Epps

The Allnighter [1987]

"Who says you can't do it all in one night?"

The Allnighter is the story of five college friends on the verge of graduation. Sensitive Molly (Susanna Hoffs), who still hasn't found the one "earth shattering romance" she desires, bubbly blonde Val (DeDee Pfieffer), who is engaged to an over-obnoxious yuppie type, and witty Gina (Joan Cusack), the eager film-maker of the bunch. Then of course we can't forget the surf-obsessed males of the gang: perpetually immature law student C.J. and the quirky, free-spirited Killer.

The movie opens with Gina and her video camera, quizzing her fellow classmates on "what they got" out of their four years at Pacifica College. To which one student, Raymond (Josh Richman, who you may recognise from Thrashin', or as the parking lot heavy metaller from Heathers with the lion/dynamite theory) replies "a couple thousand hangovers and an addiction to pepto-bismol". The initial five minutes of hijinks sets the tone for the night to come - a breezy, brainless adventure.

With the not-so-distant shores of adulthood drifting closer with every passing wave, Molly, Val, Gina, C.J. and Killer are in hot pursuit of the fling to end all flings. The answer? Pulling a no-holds-barred allnighter. To kick-start the celebrations, Molly and Val cook up the gangs' last ever meal together - a task that is easier said than done when Ginas' stash of pot is mistaken for oregano! As the guys hang out at the house they've called home for the past four years, there's an unexpected knock at the door. Enter the man of Mollys' dreams; a sharply dressed older guy with a rock star past who goes by the name of Mickey LeRoy. Could it be fate bringing the two together? Eager Molly seems to think so when he invites himself in and explains to the gang that their very beach house was once home to him and his band, The Rhinos. It soon becomes evident that Molly, an avid Rhinos fan, has the hots for this new character, and all her flirting prompts the rest of the gang into venturing down to the beach for the graduation fiesta. Little does she know that as she dances the night away with her apparent dream man, a deflated C.J. is pining for her attention. Plans for the night are also interrupted by another romantic interlude when wife-to-be Val is beckoned by her loathsome fiancee to spend the night at a hotel. Before long though, her other half hits the sack, leaving her craving some excitement in the form of the fiesta.

Heading off back to his hotel, Mickey LeRoy invites Molly to stop by later on, to her delight. As a result, us viewers are treated to what is the most (and commonly regarded as only) notable few seconds of the film: Ms. Hoffs dancing around the room in her undies to the sound of Aretha Franklins' Respect. Dressed to the nines and ready to knock LeRoy dead, she heads off to his hotel anticipating a steamy night of passion. The truth, as it turns out, couldn't be much further and in an absurd twist of events poor Molly becomes trapped out on Mickeys' balcony while he and his ex-wife get it on inside! Desperate, Molly phones for help from the two people who wont let her down: Gina and Val.

A beach littered with party casualties is all that is left of the fiesta by this point. Val, face down in the sand, is roused by a camera-wielding Gina and, assuming the nights' shenanigans are over they head back to get some sleep. Dishevelled, they arrive home to discover Mollys' urgent message from the hotel and without thinking twice, hop on Ginas' moped to carry out the best friend rescue operation. Further problems arise when the hotel staff suspect the girls as a couple of hookers and have them arrested, leaving Molly - who has only just escaped one sticky situation - in yet another predicament. While Gina and Val are carted off downtown, Molly is left to pick up the pieces of a night left in tatters. With only hours to go before the graduation ceremony, a panic-stricken Molly gathers together as much bail money as she can find and calls on C.J. in distress.

While a confrontation rages between Gina and Val and their psycho cellmate, Molly and C.J. partake in a similar disagreement with a sassy cop named Sergeant Macleish (unexpected cameo by Pam Grier!), whom they must convince of the girls' innocence. The stakes couldn't be higher: fail and miss graduation. But before this allnighter is through, there is one final thing that must be taken care of - Mollys' love life! Ah well, you know what they say - nice gals finish last.

VERDICT: ★★★

Coming across as an innocuous lovechild of Where The Boys Are '84 and Modern Girls, The Allnighter is a buoyant entry into the world of the beach movie with generous helpings of adventure, romance and PG-rated action. The gaudy greatness (which can be associated with, above all, DeDee Pfieffers' wardrobe) and a few dire performances are a lasting reminder of how guilty we should feel for falling for what charm and appeal the movie does have. Come to think of it, maybe the the flaws are the appeal. One element that we can't fault is the likability of the leads who are wonderful as the three graduating girlfriends - principally Joan Cusack who brings heaps of humour to the proceedings. Not to mention the colourful backdrop of Malibu sunshine which makes for the perfect party atmosphere.

Overall, it is a movie about making the most of what you've got and who you've got before you carefree youth is over and maturity comes to bite you in the butt. Making memories, putting friends above all else and not stopping 'til the sun comes up. Even the sudden, rabidly sappy love scene at the end doesn't do enough damage to unravel the feel-good antics of the night, and while it is an inferior movie to Modern Girls, The Allnighter stands as a kitschy, enjoyable girl-power comedy.

IMAGES/VIDEOS: [trailer]

SOUNDTRACK:

It would be criminal to disregard the soundtrack, which was made available on a now-scarce picture disc vinyl. Timbuk 3's classic The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades was also featured in the movie but unfortunately not included on the official soundtrack album.

1. Dangerous - Monalisa Young
2. No T.V. No Phone - Price-Sulton
3. Love Is You - Redd Kross
4. The Girl In A Sweater - The Hard-Ons
5. This Could Be A Slow Song - Louis & Clark
6. Respect - Funky Lips
7. Take A Mile - Louis & Clark
8. Boo Hoo - Angie Jarree
9. Dangerous - Exploding White Mice
10. Pipeline - Agent Orange
11. (Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay - Chronic Disorder

Higher Education [1987]

"Have you got yours yet?"

Yeah, I know whatchur thinkin'. Typical '80s teen-oriented skinflick. The problem is, that is what this tries to be, when in actual fact is really isn't.

This little slice of teendom is straight outta Canada, and straight outta the script for the '83 flick My Tutor. You know, horny kid + hot new teacher (who also happens to be, er, horny?) = intense student/teacher relationship! Woah. What differentiates this one from the rest is the unexpectedly serious tone. At points it tries to convince you it is actually bordering on straight-faced drama. Then all of a sudden it snaps back into that whole zany, screwball madness, leaving you wondering what in the name of Alpha and Omega is gonna happen next. Technically speaking we know what's going to happen since we've seen it all before: We've got the guy this whole movie centers around, naive Andy (Kevin Hicks), a new-to-the-city lad from the sticks. We get to enjoy a nice bus ride with Andy as his makes his way to college and first sets eyes on the smokin' hot art tutor Nicole (Lori Hallier). Not forgetting the catchy little riff from the opening titles ("Out on a Limb" by the wouldya have guessed Canadian rockers Eye Eye. Seriously, check that shit out. The lead singer is rockin' that badass aqua-netted hairdo and dangly earrings look).

What seems to be a gigantic staple in any movie of this kind: baddies. Gangster types who virtually have no relevance to anything, an IQ less than that of a wet paper bag and 250 pounds extra weight around their middle. Unfortunately for our friend Andy, his new room-mate is the son of one of those types. Around this time, he meets the arty goddess Carrie (Isabelle Mejias) and her rather odd sidekick - for lack of a better word - Gladys (Jennifer Inch). You will recognise these gals if you happen to be familiar with the Canadian rarity Heavy Metal Summer, another zany guilty pleasure flick that only about 6 people in the world can probably remember.

Pretty soon, Andy and Carrie have hooked up and things between 'em are getting heavy. Meanwhile, Carrie's room mate Gladys only has eyes for the scooter riding leather-clad dude with an attitude, who calls himself Droid. The pair turn out to be the biggest spectacle of the movie and their fashions statements easily out-bad Isabelle Mejias' yellow & red Maccy D's employee inspired outfits. Then of course we have Andy's new best mate Dean who is swimming in money and likes to think he's swimming in girls. He's got a major crush on Carrie and would choose the girl over friendship any day of the week.

Art class is starting to pay off for Andy, who has his work chosen to be displayed in a gallery. Carrie's nose is put right out of joint over the whole thing - especially when her boyfriend is obviously turning into star pupil - but nothing prepares her for the real meaning of teachers' pet! Our cheeky chap Andy, it seems, has been having it off with the tutor! And we're not talking just one drunken accident here. He's workin' against the clock to fit both Carrie and Nichole into his busy schedule, at it seems to be going smoothly, until.. HOLY SHIT! He's only gone and knocked up the art teacher!

So, that's the end for Carrie and Andy, then? Oh come on, this is the '80s!!

VERDICT: ★★ ½

You know. Movies like this one are your dime-a-dozen sort. By the time you've seen a few, your brain can't really distinguish between 'em and they all just melt into one. In a few months time you'll probably have forgotten you even saw the thing.

But honestly, Higher Education isn't all bad. It does suffer from multiple personality disorder, as mentioned earlier, flitting between decent dramedy and flat-joked slapstick. The vhs cover makes it die a slow and painful death, instantly flinging itself into the R-rated T&A category, when in all fairness it doesn't belong there. If that was the kind of movie they were initially aiming for, they shoulda stuck to their guns and gotten rid of all the serious stuff in the script. Maybe it would have worked better that way. Any kid who rented this back in the day expecting an evening of raunchiness would have no doubt gotten bored before the halfway mark. So really, Higher Education was doomed from the beginning. Unless you are a die hard fan of Isabelle Mejias or are intent on expanding your knowledge of forgotten Canadian cinema, I can't see why anyone would go out of their way to see it, which is kinda harsh on this poor, misunderstood film. Though in terms of laugh-out-loud teen comedies from the same region, Breaking All The Rules is your best bet. Hell, even Heavy Metal Summer isn't a bad choice.

IMAGES/VIDEOS: [movie clip]

SOUNDTRACK:

Guys, seriously. You gotta check out that lot Eye Eye. The entire, unreleased soundtrack consists of Canadian pop-rock!

1. Love is Fire - The Parachute Club
2. Can't Hold On - Double Dare
3. Out on a Limb - Eye Eye
4. Electric Honey - The Partland Brothers
5. Close My Eyes - Paul Janz
6. This is How it's Done - Louis Tucci and The Sharp Set
7. Going Going Gone - Louis Tucci and The Sharp Set

The Princess Academy [1987]

"They'd rather break the rules than break their nails!""Once upon a time, there was an adorable little baby named Cindy Cathcart. She was the sweetest, rosiest-cheeked baby anyone had ever seen. Unfortunately, due to to circumstances beyond her control, Cindy was left on the doorstep of a terrible reform school for juvenile delinquents!" From here on in we learn that poor Cindy, due to her mother's carelessness, has been sentenced to spend her youth in a rough & tough institute for criminal kids - an institute that seems to teach less about reform than it does the art of robbing banks. Now, Cindy is about to be misplaced once again - in the Swiss Alps of all places, and at the snobbiest, most expensive academy in the world. The Von Pupsin School for Girls. "Little did she realise that this twist of fate would change her life, and hairstyle, forever". Cue music!

Among the stereotypical wealthy fashionistas; bimbos; rodeo girls; all too well-spoken British and not to forget the mousy virgin girl, orphan Cindy just doesn't fit. And it isn't long before her new room mate - Brit girl Pam - notices. As kinder a gesture as you can find at a school full of airheads, Pam lends Cindy some of her clothes and offers to show her the Von Pupsin ropes.

In the meantime, seeing that the American Social Register is lacking the Cathcart name, and that Cindy's background is not one of tremendous wealth, wrathful headmistress Stinkenschmidt is plotting a war against her new pupil. Little does Cindy know that the plan to have her name swiftly eliminated from the Von Pupsin admissions register will soon involve not only crooked teachers, but calculating students, too.

Next up, some harmless hijinks in the form of tampons and itching powder thanks to Cindy's new gang of friends - Pam, Texas cowgirl Lulu, and Isabelle, daughter of a beefy mafia owner. When Stinkenschmidt hears of their prank, she jumps at the chance of blaming enemy number one, Cindy. But the girls are all too preoccupied to care, what with the thought of their upcoming ice skating field trip in which they are allowed to meet up with pupils from the boy's academy. But if itching powder, snowball fights, and further practical jokes involving horse manure doesn't tip Stinkenschmidt over the edge, something will. When the girls get caught having snuck out of the academy late at night, Cindy receives the brunt of the punishment: immediate expulsion.

Refusing to leave, Cindy and her pals conjure up a plan of action, intent on sweet revenge - and in the process uncover a dirty secret that's sure to be the last of the sly Ms. Stinkenschmidt. Can they get rid of the evil headmistress and graduate?

VERDICT: ★★

The Princess Academy is just one in a very long line of budgetless and now almost totally obscure teen sex comedies to come out of the '80s. Very similar to Private School and Pretty Smart - though inferior to both - The Princess Academy has only one main difference. No nudity! No, honestly. You've got your fair share of sex jokes and innuendo, enough to earn the flick an R rating on release, but none of the usual ass and boobage. What you have got though, is bad foreign accents, bad hair, a bad animated opening sequence and a non-existent plot. But that doesn't mean it's not fun. Yes, it's crude, and pretty horrendous in hindsight, but it is marginally enjoyable and another flick that makes us smile when the good guys win in the end. One final plus point: corny music montage about fifteen minutes in. We all love a good montage now don't we?

Don't deny it.

IMAGES/VIDEOS: [trailer]

SOUNDTRACK:

1. Gold Card Rap - Sid Caesar
2. Money's Everything - Julian Raymond
3. Gate 44 - David Wheatley

4. Beautiful Girls - Maurice and the Cliches
5. Skyline - Maurice and the Cliches
6. Hot & Heavy - Hurricane
7. Girls Are Out Tonight - Hurricane
8. Give Me A Reason - Chuck E. Weiss
9. Nocturnal Emissions - Chuck E. Weiss
10. Pomp and Centipede - Ten Lepers
11. First Time - Jula Bell
12. Gold Card - Ten Lepers

Jocks [1987]

"Champions aren't born ... they're made!"

Coach Bettlebom is an unmotivated college phys ed teacher who - in over ten years - hasn't once managed to win a sports trophy. His kids don't fare much better, and most of them aren't achieving much in terms of grades - to say the least. So when President White (Christopher Lee - yeah, THE Christopher Lee) decides to better the reputation of the college, he gives Bettlebom an ultimatum: construct a team of winners or else.

Tennis coach Chip Williams (Richard Roundtree) is the next in line for a lecture, this time from Bettlebom, who threatens to scrap the tennis program despite the team being the best the college has to offer. Defending the 'pansy' sport, Williams proposes that the team are ready for the big upcoming tennis tournament, and that if they lose, Bettlebom is entitled to rid the college of the sport.

Enter 'The Kid' (Scott Strader), college 'degenerate' and big time party animal. Along with the rest of the tennis team - the uptight Jeff (Perry Lang), insane Ripper (Donald Gibb - playing almost exactly the same character as he did in Revenge of the Nerds), campy Prince-like dude Andy, the women-obsessed Tex (Adam Mills), and crazy Mexican Chito (Trinidad Silver), they're shipped off to Las Vegas to compete in the contest.

As you can imagine, most of the team are more interested in gambling, getting laid, and all-round partying rather than the competition. However, none of them are aware how high the stakes really are and Williams and Bettlebom do a good job in keeping their agreement under wraps.

First up, a night of drinking is in order and, ignoring William's strict orders to keep on top form for the match, they drive off to a nearby club. It isn't long before they're approached by all-too-friendly team members from a rival college, whose intentions aren't as good as first assumed - setting the Kid and his teammates up. By the time the next day rolls around, the guys are completely hungover and in no state for the first round match.

Having obviously not learned from their mistakes and not too bothered about the contest, the Kid and the guys go off for another night of partying and by now, Williams is at wits end. At this point, the Kid has fallen for Nicole (Mariska Hargitay) - a girl who just happens to be from the rival college. Whilst the two share a motel room, the rest of the guys are out getting pretty drunk. All seems peachy until Bettlebom shows his face and goes hunting for the team to tell them that their partying has gotten them disqualified from the contest.

Williams and the guys are determined not to let Bettlebom get rid of the tennis program. A few hookers later, Bettlebom has been stitched up and some uncomplimentary photographic evidence allows the team to take part in the critical competition after all.

But that isn't the end to the scams, when the jealous rival competitors place a bet in the Kid's name, telling him that if his team loses, thousands of dollars will be coming his way. Will the Kid crumble under pressure?

VERDICT: ★ ½

Jocks, good for maybe a laugh or two - mainly at the badly handled tennis scenes - is nothing worth going out of your way to find. Contradicting that statement, it is worth seeing if only for the weird and wonderful cast.

All in all, a not quite mind numbing attempt from Crown International Pictures at a partially serious teen sports movie, full of madly misplaced faces (Christopher Lee -seriously!) and a humdrum seen-it-all-before storyline.

IMAGES/VIDEOS: [movie clip]

SOUNDTRACK:

1. Foxy Lady - John Finley
2. Dirty With You - John Finley
3. Tonight - Pamela Neal
4. Got Some Lovin' For You - Pamela Neal
5. Road Trip - Phillip Kennard, Tim Bryson & Bob Irving
6. Misbehavin' - Phillip Kennard with The Pups
7. How Many Times - Linda Peaches Green
8. Power Play - Jimmy Osmond
9. Body Bruiser - Stephen Tavani
10. Gettin' Hot in Here - Linda Peaches Green
11. Sugar & Spice - Linda Peaches Green
12. Willie Willie - David Backstrom
13. In Trouble Again - David Backstrom & Terry Wilson

Pretty Smart [1987]

"After a taste of knowledge, the girls at Ogilvy Academy think they're... Pretty Smart."

Zigs (Tricia Leigh Fisher) works at a bank, which is, unfortunately, just about to be robbed. But the whole thing is a joke to the streetwise teen - distracting the robber by stripping down to her undies!

In a bid to straighten out their daughter for good, Zigs' parents send her packing, shipping both the prim and proper Jennifer and rebellious sister Zigs to Ogilvy girls academy in Greece. Arriving in her Madonna-esq get-up, Zigs swaggers past Principal Crawley, immediately being told to "never wear that outfit again". Taking none of it and determined to be kicked out at the soonest possible instance, she tells Crawley to "eat shit", and struts inside.

Both sisters are assigned their room-mates, Jennifer lumbered with the blonde and brainless Rebecca, leader of clique the 'Preens'. Meanwhile, it's a completely different story where Zigs is concerned, quickly becoming friends with room-mate Zero (Patricia Arquette) and falling in with the 'Subs'. Referred to as the 'subhumanoids', the girls are constantly at war with the Preens, the rivalry hotting up when Zigs becomes ringleader of her gang.

It's not long before Zigs is in trouble with the Principal due to her rebellious behaviour and endless loudmouthing. Convincing him that she is sorry for her unruly actions, she asks if there is any way she can be forgiven. Principal Crawley then leaves her in charge of dinner and musical arrangements to accompany the upcoming tennis tournament with the local boys school. All seems to be going well, that is, until the day of the tournament. The tables piled up with greasy take-out snacks, the affluent and wealthy guests can't believe their eyes. But it turns out to be one trick too many when the 'classical' band rip off their suits and grab electric guitars. Principal Crawley is fuming and, knowing the disastrous affair was handiwork of the Subs, buys the Preens tickets to Paris for good behaviour. The Subs are forced back to classes whilst the Preens pack and leave. But when easygoing English teacher and ex-Ogilvy student Sara Gentry finds out, she and the Subs go off to Rhode Island for fun in the sun.

On return, the principal is furious, sacking Sara on the spot. Both the Preens and the Subs are mortified at the loss of their favourite teacher, vowing revenge. Soon after, the Subs, determined to banish their misery, throw a party for Zigs' birthday. They blast out music and dance around the dinner hall until Crawley interrupts, confiscating Zigs' new stereo. The girls are all forced back to their rooms, but later that night, Zigs takes it upon herself to retrieve what's hers. Along with her three best friends, the girls creep down to the Principals office in the dark. Joking around, they accidentally discover that Crawley has been spying on the girls thanks to hidden cameras in the dorms, making sleazy tapes and selling them off to 'business partners'.

Deciding to tell-all to rivals the Preens, both cliques are horrified, and, joining forces, the girls come up with a plan for revenge which will rid Ogilvy Academy of Principal Crawley once and for all.

VERDICT: ★★ ½

Pretty Smart is a typical New World Pictures flick, laced with the obligatory T&A whenever possible. It is very much like Private School, and anyone who has seen that movie knows what to expect. Compared with other New World teen movies, Pretty Smart is not quite on-par with the little remembered Canadian caper Breaking All the Rules, but a lot more enjoyable than Fraternity Vacation.

The opening song, sung by Tricia Leigh Fisher, raises expectations maybe a little too high, and in retrospect is probably the most enjoyable part of the movie. However, Pretty Smart is still quite a blast, with some fun goings on and a bit of humour here and there. It certainly isn't spectacular, neither is it terrible, but for New World it is a good'n. Plus, it demonstrates some great (/abysmal?) late eighties fashions, and shows us what a young Patricia Arquette was up to in 1987, in her second movie role.

IMAGES/VIDEOS: [movie clip]

SOUNDTRACK:

1. Pretty Smart - Tricia Leigh Fisher
2. Breakdown - Dave Morgan
3. Where Is The Man - Dave Levy
4. Good Love Turn To Bad - Dave Morgan
5. Foreign Relations - Dave Morgan
6. Keep On Following Your Heart - Dave Morgan
7. Born to Rock - Dave Morgan

Party Camp [1987]

"Party Camp.. the best thing about summer since the bikini."

Jerry Riviera has it all; the looks, the perfect job and the perfect girl - or so he wishes. He spends his days drooling over camp girl Heather Morris, and decides to take up a job as a counsellor at Camp Chipmunk in an attempt to have a summer of fun with her.

It's on the bus ride to camp that Jerry meets D.A. (Billy Jacoby - Terry's sex obsessed brother from Just One of the Guys) and the two decide to hang out. We're then introduced to Jewel Shepard's character, brainless Dyanne Stein, who Jerry tries - and fails - to chat up.

It's less than fun and games when the kids arrive and find that it isn't much more than a strict military training camp - with no alcohol, cigarettes, partying or fun allowed. However, Jerry is determined to transform the camp into one wild party and doesn't take no for an answer.

The camp is then divided into groups, and Jerry is lumbered with the so-called nerds - which include D.A. and a computer geek. Leader of the Falcons, Tad Whitneyworth - total jock and boyfriend of Dyanne - laughs as he assigns Jerry's group as the "Squirrels" and sends them off to their dilapidated cabin. The guys are less than pleased at their new home, but the miserable atmosphere is soon replaced as wiseguy Jerry ignores every possible authority and constantly bends camp rules.

War is declared between the Squirrels and the Falcons, with pranks and stunts being pulled by both groups. The Squirrels always come out on top - planting cameras in the girls' changing room, playing strip poker with airhead Dyanne, blowing up the Falcons' cabin, kidnapping Tad and Dyanne and not to mention exposing camp leaders' weird bug fetishes.

Meanwhile, dreamgirl Heather is beginning to fall for Jerry thanks to his smart-guy antics and agrees to go with him to the camp dance.

Camp Chipmunk then holds a games championship. All the groups enter, with the Falcons eager to beat the Squirrels and the Squirrels determined to thrash the Falcons. But only one can win..

VERDICT: ★★★

You will laugh your ass off at this movie. Jerry Riviera is the most awesome summer camp counsellor you will ever come across - what happened to Andrew Ross anyways? Billy Jacoby is - as he was in Just One of the Guys - a complete dude.

I'd pack my suitcase and be hauled off to Camp Chipmunk any day of the week. Why? 'Cause Party Camp is a RIOT!

IMAGES/VIDEOS:

SOUNDTRACK:

1. Party Camp - Mark Carpenter
2. Hunger - Paulette K. Brown
3. Drugs, Sex & Rock 'n' Roll - Valley Heat
4. Real Man - Adie Grey
5. Boys in Rock & Roll - T. Odd
6. She's Got to Party - Valley Heat

Can't Buy Me Love [1987]

"Money can buy popularity.. But it can't buy me love"

We're all familiar with the geeks/populars divide. No matter what school you're from, it happens. The most popular of popular girls can go out with whoever she likes whenever she likes. So why oh why would Cindy Mancini, the most popular girl in school, decide to date Ronald Miller, a known nerd and the guy who cuts her lawn? If you asked me, i'd be clueless. But if Cindy hadn't gotten wine spilt all over her outfit at a party, the whole thing would never have happened..

Ronny (Patrick Dempsey in probably his most adorable '80s role!) can't help but love Cindy - the girl of his dreams. But girls like her and guys like him just don't date. Unless, of course, money is involved. After Ronny bails Cindy out of a desperate situation, she owes him pretty big. And the only way Ronald allows her to return the favour is by posing as his girlfriend! When they turn up at school and are seen walking down the hall together, the popular crowd can't help but wonder why.

Soon Ronny is accepted as one of them - he ditches his real friends and decides that being cool is more important. The act soon turns sour grapes when - in a drunken slur - Cindy 'fesses up to her mates. Ronny falls out with the popular crowd, and loses Cindy too. He's lost his "nerdy" but true friends. His life is ruined.

But not for long.

VERDICT: ★★★★ ½

Can't Buy me Love is the ultimate feel-good teen movie. It'll make you smile, laugh and maybe even shed a tear all at once. It's got nerds, it's got jocks, it's got '80s hair, '80s clothes, '80s music, Dempsey, and a good few morals, too. It's another of those Romeo and Juliet plots - but when I say another - this one ranks up high. Patrick Dempsey and Amanda Peterson have fantastic chemistry and make the most perfect of couples. But I think most of all, the speech about the pettiness of high school cliques will hit a note with everyone, whether you were popular at school or not.

IMAGES/VIDEOS: [trailer]

SOUNDTRACK:

1. Can't Buy Me Love - The Beatles
2. Dancin' With Myself - Billy Idol
3. Misfit - Curiosity Killed The Cat
4. As Long As I Can Last - Randy Hall
5. One Lover at a Time - Atlantic Starr
6. One for the Mockingbird - Cutting Crew
7. Burnin' - Rebel Faction
8. French Kissing - Carol Chapman
9. Actress - Randy Hall
10. Secret Agent Man - Kipp Lennon
11. Living in a Box - Living in a Box
12. Certain Things Are Likely - KTP
13. Surfin' Safari - The Beach Boys
14. All Night Long - Randy Hall
15. Don't Wanna Be Your Fool - Brittan
16. Hearts Radio - The Blue Sparks From Hell
17. Fallen Hero - Steve Grisham & Dwayne Evans