80's Teen Movies :: the classic, the obscure & everything in between: 1989

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How I Got Into College [1989]

"Keep reminding yourself.. It's only a movie!"

It's Marlon Browne's senior year at high school. Meaning he, along with the rest of his year group at Hunterwoods High have just had to endure the nail-biting compulsory ritual that is SAT's. Stress levels aren't dropping either, what with the even more gruelling process of deciding on and applying for college still to come.

Just as daunted by her future prospects is hardworking class president Jessica Kailo (Lara Flynn Boyle), who seems destined to take the all-American sorority girl route straight to Michigan, following in the footsteps of her three older sisters - the ones she doesn't particularly look up to. Michigan or not, wherever Jessica Kailo goes, a drooling Marlon Browne follows.

At the college fair, Marlon approaches Ramsey, a school that relies on kids with better-than-average test scores and more importantly, affluent backgrounds - the preppy; the snob; the smart-alec rich kid. Falling too-far short from the school's usual expectations, Marlon - who decides to apply solely to chase the lovely miss Kailo, girl of his dreams - enrolls with a 'college preparation service'. A dozen hundred dollar cheques later (and a few rather uninformative lessons on the art of guessing your difficult SAT questions), Marlon is all geared up for interview day.

Set on making a lasting impression on the Ramsey lot, Jessica - pondering over which shoes to wear - enters meltdown mode. What if being perfect just makes you average? What if all the extra-curricular experience under her belt is nothing in comparison to the few dozen patient hopefuls in the waiting room? And what if Ramsey just doesn't want her? And it wouldn't be surprising if they didn't, after her hellishly disastrous interview. (Fact 1: never, ever tear open your shirt when an interviewee asks "is there anything you'd like to reveal about yourself")

The application deadline day arrives and a confident Marlon is about to receive a big ol' shock. Catching wind of the news that his dream girl has had a change of heart about attending Michigan, he resorts to drastic measures to convince her otherwise. Will it be enough? After all, the deadline is only hours away and Ramsey a few hundred miles journey. And who's to say the both of them will be accepted?

Oh, and will Marlon's best mate finally get to live his lifelong dream of travelling the world with a carload of gorgeous gameshow hostesses?!

VERDICT: ★★★ ½

How I Got Into College is the last of Savage Steve Holland's directorial efforts of the '80s, and I guess you could say it is the least. Not because it sucks, but because it has never and will never be regarded as highly as the John Cusack comedies, One Crazy Summer and Better Off Dead. And when I say it isn't regarded as highly, what I mean is: it's well and truly overlooked and those that haven't overlooked it seem to have chosen to simply hate on it in the biggest way imaginable. "But that is because Holland's earlier efforts are classics and miiiiles better than this!" I hear you scream. While you may be partially right, How I Got Into College deserves more than being shunned to one side to gather dust for twenty years.

What's so clever about this movie is that it manages to be both stupid but smart and horrendous but marvelous. It's an odd mix, but one that adds up to something worthwhile. And I love it. It keeps you grinning like a Cheshire cat and completely defines the term feel-good factor. Great too is the adorable Lara Flynn Boyle, parading around in her gnarly late eighties outfits - blazers with enormous shoulder pads - leaving her looking every bit the Heather. Without fail we are delivered a brief appearance by the one and only Curtis Armstrong - a Savage Steve Holland and general '80s movie regular - who raises the roof as an all-preaching ("last night, Jesus Christ appeared to me as a vision on a flaming pie") Bible College recruiter. And thankfully, oh so thankfully, the lead role is filled with Corey Parker's shoes and not John Cusack's. Don't get me wrong, Cusack was wonderful in the '80s (and still is now, of course) but it is refreshing to be able to associate a Savage Steve Holland teen comedy with an alternate lead actor who, while not in the same league as Cusack, is a pleasantly surprising substitute.

In short, How I Got Into College is a movie about growin' up. And if you resist from comparing it to or expecting Better Off Dead all over again, you will find an energetic little forgotten gem and maybe - just maybe - a keeper.

Did I mention Diane Franklin is in this?

IMAGES/VIDEOS:

SOUNDTRACK:

No soundtrack is in existence, sadly! Awesome songs, though.

1. Love Like We Do - Edie Brickell and New Bohemians

2. Love Changes Everything - Climie Fisher

3. Words of a Freestyle - M.C. Shan

4. What I Like About You - Michael Merwin

5. Get Ready - Rare Earth

6. Young - Jason Scheff

7. Tobacco Road - David Lee Roth

8. In the Name of Love - Steve Dorff

9. Hail To The Matadores - Richard S. Kaufman

Spring Fever U.S.A. AKA Lauderdale [1989]

"Where life's a beach"

Time for a spring break movie, folks. Not *the* Spring Break, no. This one just isn't as awesome as that. HOWEVER! It is still a spring break flick. With a cameo appearance by Ron Jeremy.

I'm guessing that has summed it up already.

After one hell of an opening sequence - you know the kind: shots of an over-tanned pecks-flexing muscle dude; conga line; beach babes; uncredited extras who probably didn't realize they were even being filmed at the time - set to the tune of We Go To The Beach by the Rebel Pebbles, we cut to UCLA where college buddies Larry and (token fatso best friend who wears the same outfit throughout the entire movie) Animal are failing at attracting attention from girls. Well, the right kind of attention, anyway. Particularly that of Heather fantasy girl Lipton (*the* Janine Lindemuler, who i'm sure is the fantasy girl of the entire male population of Earth). But when the guys spot a couple of up-to-no-good gangster types attempting to bundle the defenseless ms. Lipton into the back of a car, they take it upon themselves to do something about it. Acting like a couple of action heroes, they knock the ruffians out cold and rescue Heather from the two bumbling thugs.

As Animal sets off to Fort Lauderdale for a week of partying, Heather insists on repaying Larry for his valiant deed and invites him back to her hotel room. Looks like luck is in. But as an overly thrilled Larry arrives with a bottle of Dom Peringnon to meet the demands of his oversexed fantasy girl, in burst the gangsters, intent on a second kidnap attempt. This time, it's Larry's turn to get knocked out, and when he wakes up, Heather is nowhere in sight and neither is the hotel. Looks like that bit of luck is nowhere close to being in. But wait! No sooner than Larry is informed that he too has been kidnapped is he rescued by a bouncy blonde named Jane, who is fortunate enough to have armed herself with a can of pepper spray. Succeeding in temporarily blinding the brainless thugs who are holding Larry hostage, they speed away in her sports car.

Making a quick getaway, Jane fills Larry in on the truth about his eighteen year old dream girl, who is none other than the daughter of one of the wealthiest men in the world. They agree that finding Heather is in the best of both of their interests - Jane having been hired to track her down, while Larry is still busy drooling over the thought of her.

First stop, Palm Springs. Larry has a hunch that his fantasy woman will be found in the same place as 'The Big Kahuna', and despite not knowing where the hell *that* can be found, he and Jane stop by some surf shops and ask around. From there, they are directed from one sunny city to the next, finding plenty of tanned bodies and college kids, but none by the name of The Big Kahuna or Heather Lipton. As they make their way to Daytona Beach, they stumble upon the gangsters once again, forcing Jane to act as bait by stripping down to some rather saucy undies. Their plan to deliver ms. Lipton back to her daddy in New York fails when she escapes from both the guys holding her hostage and Jane and Larry, jumps onto a motorbike, and heads to Daytona.

What she is greeted with on arrival is wet t-shirt contests, hot clubs, and the biggest and best party atmosphere in Florida. But Larry and Jane aren't far behind, catching up with her as she enters a beach beauty contest. Things get complicated for the two amateur detectives when Larry is challenged - by the King of the sport - to a bellyflop contest. Does jumping from a crane just spell trouble?

By the end of spring break, Larry heads back to UCLA to take the exam he failed to study for over the week he spent chasing Heather. And talking of Heather, will she get back to New York in one piece? And will Larry declare his undying love for her, or come to realize that Jane is girl for him?

..Oh, and will they finally discover the identity of The Big Kahuna?

VERDICT: ★ ½

If you want some idea of the calibre of this movie, just look at the cast. Two pornstars, and the rest virtual unknowns, apart from a couple of short appearances by Summer Job's Sherrie Rose as a lingerie store salesgirl. Most of the cast - the surf store staff, club-goers, beach bodies - were all local faces. Figures!

One reviewer pans this flick as the "worst movie of the entire universe ever to be made". And I guess - apart from the rad opening theme song - they aren't far off. I would advise you to savour the precious few humorous moments and put your brain into standby mode while watching. 'Cause, what do ya want? It's a spring break movie, with a shedload of ass, boobage, zaniness and the obligatory spastic gangster subplot. You get what you pay for with this one. That is all.

(Go watch the actual Spring Break instead. Failing that, try Private Resort).

IMAGES/VIDEOS: [movie clip]

SOUNDTRACK:

No official soundtrack was released, but the more-than-bearable song listing is as follows:

1. We Go To The Beach - The Rebel Pebbles

2. Winners - Fury

3. Spring Break/Come Together - Jeff Wills and Asrock

4. Nighttime Assassin - The Rebel Pebbles

5. How Do You Feel (Jane's Theme) - The Rebel Pebbles

6. Black Beauty - Clay Sheff

7. Hiya Honey! - Teazer

Summer Job [1989]

"Wanted: Irresponsible coeds to work in exotic pleasure spa. 'Experience' a must!"

When recruited as summer staff at a hot beach side resort, a bunch of (mainly too old to be) college coeds prepare themselves for the ultimate fun in the sun experience! Somehow, these lucky kids - comprising of a fat slob, cocky jock, daddies girl, surfer chick, cowboy, nerd, and a few other characters sporting obviously aqua-netted hairdos - beat the competition of the six hundred other applicants for the chance of a lifetime; a chance that doesn't begin too well for any of them.

With a psychotic chef in the kitchen; guests suffering from heart attacks at the sight of the room service girl; an obese woman (complete with splodgy sound effects) plodding after whichever lad she notices; a leery old guy chasing the scantily clad beach babes all hours of the day and a whole array of other disasters, the summer staff all begin to get tired of what they thought would be a few weeks of bliss.

Head of staff and UCLA college senior Kathy (Sherrie Rose) continues with her tight-ship work routine, earning herself an instant enemy in the form of filthy rich daddies girl, Barbara. Claws - and sharp ones at that - soon come out and after Barbara is humiliated by one of Kathy's clever pranks, daddies girl is on the warpath and guess who is right on route? Armed with a bottle of purple dye, conniving Barb fixes her new rival's bubble bath and the next night, Kathy is branded the 'purple pimpernel'. That isn't the end to the disasters and when the resort manager catches onto the commotion, Kathy loses her position as head of staff and is demoted to kitchen duties, saving the population of the beach the humiliation of seeing a purple-skinned resort worker. To top things off, Barbara is sacked, much to the satisfaction of the rest of the staff. But they haven't seen the last of her..

To make things worse for Kathy, she hears from her so-called boyfriend that he has been seeing someone else for weeks, so she and the other girls go out to exact revenge on more or less the entire male population of the resort. Meanwhile, the lads on staff try their hardest (no pun intended) at getting laid.

Just when the staff think the waves have settled and their end-of-summer leaving party is in sight, they get a nasty surprise. None other than bitch of the century, Barbara, checks in as a guest. Without hesitation, the staff agree they are in for one bumpy ride. So what do they do? Cook up - quite literally - a cunning plan of action! Can they pull it off and get even with the one person who is making their lives hell? And can they throw the most made-of-awesome leaving party in summer job history?

VERDICT:★★ ½

As far as spring break/summer beach movies go, Summer Job is a fun one. Look at it as a movie, and you'll be bummed out. But look at it as an '80s beach movie, realise that's all it is, and you'll be entertained. There are only a certain amount of things that you can put into a beach movie (sun, sea, sand and tanned bodies, to name the most of them) and none of those things are anything particularly substantial. So if you're looking for an intellectually stimulating experience (and I did said intellectually, as well as stimulating) then you're on the wrong tracks. Generally on the wrong tracks here at this site, I mean.

Summer Job does benefit from a good deal of humour, although it is largely pretty slapstick stuff. Unavoidably with these sorts of movies, the laughs are mostly unintentional, and the best part of the over-emphasised gags fall flat and will probably irritate you a little. Regardless, Summer Job is a double-sized slice of late '80s cinema that goes heavy on the cheese and not-so on the brain cells. Will it encourage you to nab yourself a summer job? Well, see it and find out.

IMAGES/VIDEOS: [movie clip]

SOUNDTRACK:

The song played during the opening credits is "All the Love I Need" by Ike Stubblefield and Kevin Quigley, and is one of the best tracks on the unsurprisingly out of print soundtrack.

1. You're All The Love I Need - Ike Stubblefield and Kevin Quigley
2. Hold On To Your Love - Orkestra
3. Sweet Lover - Jack Green
4. Lady Of The Night - Kenny Moore
5. Kathy's Theme - Ike Stubblefield
6. Some Kind Of Magic - Orkestra
7. Win Your Love - Jack Green
8. Give Me The Night - Ike Stubblefield and Debbie Fosten
9. Don't Turn Away - Orkestra
10. Bring On The Dancing Girls - Orkestra
11. Heartbeat - Ike Stubblefield and Kevin Quigley

Teen Witch [1989]

"Fall under her spell"

Louise Miller (Robyn Lively) is just about to turn sixteen. Her high school life is pretty bleak - her English teacher hates her, and the one guy she likes - Brad (Dan Gauthier) - just happens to be the most popular guy in school dating head cheerleader Randa (Lisa Fuller). Her home life isn't much of an improvement either, with her parents dressing her like a nerd and her brother treating her like one, Louise is at wits end.

But one night after almost being mowed down by Brad's sports car, Louise finds her way to the nearest house to borrow the phone and ends up with a lot more than she bargained for. Having her palms read by the mysterious Madame Serena, she is told that in weeks time when she hits sixteen, she will inherit powers descending from the witches of Salem. Naturally, Louise believes none of it, and it isn't until prom night the next week that she begins to believe Serena's words.

Prom night arrives, and Louise has been set up with Randa's cousin from out of town. Believing this to be an indication that the popular crowd are beginning to like her, both Louise and best friend Polly are stunned. As it turns out, Randa's cousin is in fact a horny little geek, and poor Louise is lumbered with him for the rest of the night. This doesn't stop her from getting rid of her ugly birthday sweater in the girls' bathroom, and swapping it for an outrageous tutu outfit in the vein of her idol, rockstar 'Shana' (Valentine Leone - who herself released three albums). Soon, Louise and her date leave in his car, but the night turns into a disaster when Louise wishes him disappear - and he does! Just when the night can't get any worse, she rushes home, gets an earful from her little brother, and accidentally turns him into a dog!

The following days see Louise visiting Madam Serena for advice and practicing some well needed spells - including a love potion for Brad and a revenge spell for her sarcastic English teacher. But the better of the bunch is when Madame Serena agrees to help transform Louise into the most popular girl in school. Miraculously, the spell works a treat, and Louise goes from ugly duckling to trendsetting beauty in the wink of an eye.

But nothing comes that easy and without consequences, and although Louise at last has the guy of her dreams and all the friends she could wish for, she's unhappy. Having lost Polly, her one true friend, and realising that the friendships she has now made are all more or less fake, Louise urges Madame Serena to help her. But with Brad inviting her to the prom and popularity finally in her grasp, will she give it all up?

VERDICT: ★★★

Although it is completely '80s, very sweet, and has a couple of good songs featured, Teen Witch is not quite a classic. The first half of the movie is brilliant, but from there on in it seems to lose it's way a little, the 'i'm gonna be the most popular girl' scene being terribly corny. It tries hard to teach the viewers some kind of morals, but they're muddled within the cheesiness of it all. With the corniness of a musical and the song and dance scenes to match, it is no surprise that Teen Witch WAS turned into a musical production a couple of years back.

It is a shame that Louise and Polly's friendship gets lost after the first half of the movie - one of a couple of plot points that never seems to see a proper conclusion. Are we to assume that Polly forgives Louise for ditching her and that they become best buddies again? We know that's what we want to believe!

A bit of trivia: Dan Gauthier and Lisa Fuller who play Brad and Randa were not only boyfriend and girlfriend in the movie, but were actually married in real life just a year after the movie was made. As of this review, they're still together.

IMAGES/VIDEOS: [trailer]

SOUNDTRACK:

A soundtrack has never been released, which is a shame as the Shana tune 'Never Gonna Be the Same Again' is pretty catchy. On the other hand, the musical cast released a 14 track album that makes up for the nonexistent one perfectly.

1. Finest Hour - Sara Niemietz W/ Blake Ewing

2. Never Gonna Be The Same Again - Heather Youmans
3. Dream Lover - Sara Niemietz
4. High School Blues - Bryce Blue & V-Style
5. I Like Boys - Monet Lerner, Tessa Ludwick & Alycia Adler
6. I Keep On Falling - Blake Ewing
7. Shame - Monet Lerner, Tessa Ludwick & Alycia Adler
8. She's Put A Spell On You - Ashley Crowe
9. Popular Girl - Sara Niemietz Featuring V-Style
10. Top That - Bryce Blue & Lauren Patten W/V-Style
11. Fool For Love - Blake Ewing
12. What Are You Doing About Love? - Sara Niemietz
13. Get Up & Move - Heather Youmans
14. Finest Hour Instrumental - Teen Witch The Musical Orchestra

Loverboy [1989]

"When Randy delivers pizza to the upper crust of Beverly Hills, watch out for the extras!"

Randy Bodek (Patrick Dempsey) is a college kid who seems to be flunking his way through his second semester without a care. The one thing he does care for is his roommate and girlfriend Jennifer, who he is madly in love with. So when his girlfriend breaks up with him thanks to a misunderstanding and his dad withdraws his college fund through dissatisfaction of his grades, Randy is desperate to raise the tuition fees himself, and get back to Jennifer to straighten things out. Even if it means wearing a moustache and sombrero while cooking pizzas in a greasy kitchen.

In comes the transformation: from college punk to Beverly Hills delivery boy in no time whatsoever. And it's while on a delivery that Randy meets the gorgeous Alex Barnett (Barbara Carrera), a sophisticated older woman who owns a chain of department stores and shows a little too much interest in the sweaty pizza boy! Soon after, Senor Pizza receive an unusual order from a woman in a suave hotel asking for "extra anchovies".. Randy has no idea how much trouble these extra anchovies will cause him!

The woman in the hotel turns out to be none other than the wealthy Alex, who is after much more than pizza where Randy is concerned, and Randy is more than happy to oblige. After a couple of dates, a $500 suit compliments of the wealthy businesswoman is dropped off at Senor Pizza for her loverboy, who happens to be off-shift, Italian stud Tony stepping up to drop it at his house. But when he arrives, Randy's suspicious parents begin asking questions, finding a note from Alex, believing this Alex is a guy - more specifically - delivery boy Tony! And so begins a downward spiral of false impressions and grave misconceptions!

Senor Pizza soon takes another unusual order, Randy eager to see Alex again. But on arrival at a flash mansion in the Hills, he gets a right royal shock - it isn't Alex at all, but an unhappily married woman wanting service from a professional to cure her misery! Reluctantly, Randy agrees. But before long, the downhearted women of Beverly Hills have acquired quite a taste for extra anchovies and the sympathetic Randy becomes their knight in shining armour!

The college fund is accumulating fast and the chances of seeing Jennifer are growing by the date. Unbeknown to Randy, his parents marital problems are growing too, his dad convinced that his son "is a fruit!". Eventually, the Senor Pizza secret is passed on to Randy's mother and, believing a dose of extra anchovies is just what she needs at this point in her marriage, calls up and places an order. Of course, it is a close shave when Randy arrives at the motel and scarpers before she manages to notice him, telling Tony to make the delivery instead, saying "there are no more anchovies". This only creates more problems for the Bodek family and sooner or later the truth has to be spilt!

Can Randy save his relationship with Jennifer and his parents' marriage!?

VERDICT: ★★★

Similar to the 1987 flick The Woo Woo Kid, Loverboy is a comedy filled - if a little slapstick - romantic movie. As usual, Dempsey plays the adorable loser whose life just doesn't seem to be going that smoothly, getting himself into predicament after predicament. Whereas I love to rattle on about the good amount of morals in Can't Buy Me Love, Loverboy doesn't have that same impact as the plot is a little on the far fetched side. We are supposed to believe that Randy, having had dates with all of these women who pay in the region of $200 for his company, slept with virtually none of them? And on top of that, it is okay to do so if you're doing it for your girlfriend, who takes the whole situation in her stride?

That said, you obviously have to take the movie lightly and enjoy the plentiful and not too crude humour, especially a particular dream sequence where Randy is being attacked by a crazed husband. The snowballing storyline becomes more and more hilarious as it goes on, as do the situations Randy finds himself in. The intertwining of the characters is pretty cleverly done, again maybe a bit too coincidental, but still very funny. Also entertaining to see a leather-clad Dempsey rocking out with bleached blonde hair at the beginning of the movie, sadly that image doesn't last for long. Those against anything overly romantic will probably gag at Loverboy, but if not, you'll smile at the sweetness of it all. For a more believable story, check out Happy Together, also a 1989 flick, with Helen Slater as Dempsey's love interest.

IMAGES/VIDEOS:

SOUNDTRACK:

The soundtrack isn't really anything that special, one of the best tracks being Edie Brickell and What I am. Although the placement of Great Balls of Fire is perfect and the scene it accompanies wouldn't have been half as good without it. The rest of the tracks are a bit unnoticeable and after watching the movie you'll hardly remember where and when many of these songs come in.

1. Another Lover - Giant Steps
2. Walkin' the Line - Brian Wilson
3. One For The Boys - Brian Wilson
4. Melt Away - Brian Wilson
5. What I Am - Edie Brickell & the New Bohemians
6. Wild Wild West - The Escape Club
7. Anwyhere's Better Than Here - The Replacements
8. I Wanna Be Around - Tony Bennett
9. They Can't Take That Away From Me - Fred Astaire
10. Blue Tango - Claudius Alzner Orchestra
11. Great Balls of Fire - Jerry Lee Lewis
12. Tell Me - Bekka Bramlett

Gleaming the Cube [1989]

"When getting even means risking it all"

Slacker Brian Kelly (Christian Slater) has only one interest in life: skating. Envious of his adopted Vietnamese brother Vinh who seems to have it all - perfect grades, a perfect girlfriend, and a family that think he's the greatest kid on earth - the two of them don't exactly get on like a house on fire.

Working for his girlfriend's father, Vinh has the job of totting up figures for Vietnamese medicine and aid shipments. Being the clever-kid that he is, he soon notices a discrepancy within the figures, admitting to his boss that they seem to be getting ripped off on the weight of the shipments. Five minutes later, Vinh turns up dead, his body found hanging from a motel ceiling.

Unconvinced that his brother committed suicide, Brain sets out on a mission to uncover the truth, beginning to ask questions when he finds one of the shipment receipts. Poking his nose in where he shouldn't, he winds up in the car of a suspicious criminal involved in the dodgy dealings, witnessing him shot dead. Dragging the police along to the scene, Brian tells-all, but none of the cops believe his story, particularly slick detective Al Lucero. After further sneaky investigations, Brian tracks down the smuggled crates, which are brimming with illegal weapons.

Somewhere along the line, Brian decides to ditch his skater badboy image, cutting his hair and slipping on a shirt and tie in the hope of being taken more seriously. This enables him to start hanging out with Vinh's ex-girlfriend Tina, whose parents aren't too fond of American boys. Delving into Tina's fathers 'business', Brian traces the illegal activities back to him, and after the businessman and his partner Ed Lawndale realise that their smuggling operation is in jeopardy, Tina's father attempts to make a quick exit out of the country.

In tears, Tina tells Brian of the plans for the family to move away, admitting how the sudden move makes no sense to her. Brian decides to fill her in on the whole operation, and she is shocked to hear about her father's illegitimate dealings.

By this point, Brian has almost been mowed down by three motorcycle-riding Vietnamese kids working for Lawndale, fuelling the theory that Vinh's death was more than meets the eye. Detective Lucero finally swallows the almost-unbelievable truth and sets out to hunt down Lawndale, who is on his way over to Tina's house to talk things over with her father.

Arriving a little too late, Lucero finds Tina gone and her father shot. Brian is also on the scene, having smashed his skateboard through a window in an attempt to stop the confrontation. Finally working together, Lucero and Brian race after the kidnapper, and with the help of Brian's badass skate crew, he is finally brought to justice.

VERDICT: ★★ ½

Gleaming the Cube is a totally '80s guilty pleasure movie. Skateboarding and solving crime, now there's a thing! As far as the skating goes, there are some awesome moves shown throughout the movie, with the boys messing around in empty pools, and Christian Slater (or his skate double) showing off some dangerous expertise, like skating under moving trucks! One of the guys, weirdly enough, happens to be Tony Hawk, so although the plot is pretty far fetched, being able to sit back and watch some exceptional skating is enough to divert your attention for a couple of hours. By the nineties, movies of this sort were in short supply, although 1991 gave us Prayer of the Rollerboys with Corey Haim, which is another so-bad-it's-good movie focused on rollerblading and busting criminals.

Another upside is the state of Christian Slater in the first half of the film: bleach-blonde hair, dangly earring, fingerless gloves, band tees, and a whole lotta attitude. Seeing him demonstrate some rad/bad 'anti' fashions is something that's lost in the '80s forever. And for that, Gleaming the Cube is worth a watch.

IMAGES/VIDEOS: [trailer]

SOUNDTRACK:

A soundtrack was never released, which is a shame as the title song 'Gleaming the Cube' is a good'n. Sung by James House, an '80s soundtrack regular, who performed songs for Teen Wolf and the Wraith (both sought after soundtracks) as well as a favourite of mine, Fire with Fire, of which a soundtrack was never released. Quite a lot of people are after bits and pieces of his material, but it isn't the easiest stuff to get your hands on. Oh, also, the Vietnamese version of Martha & the Vandellas' 'Nowhere to Run' is hilarious.

1. Gleaming the Cube - James House
2. Brother to Brother - Billy Burnette
3. Stukas Over Disneyland - The Dickies
4. Nowhere to Run - Khanh Ha
5. Never Can Say Goodbye - Khanh Ha
6. Right Now - Johnny Rad
7. Saigon Angel - The AVT Trid

There wasn't really enough music in the movie to soundtrack-ize, but someone should have released it anyway. Seriously. The title song makes half of the damn movie!

Listen to Me [1989]

"Each of us has the right to be heard."

Tucker Muldowney (Kirk Cameron) is a not-too-well-off kid from the South, who has just been granted one of just two scholarships to join the debate team at Kenmont College. Thrown in for college kitchen duties, he befriends Chicago girl Monica Tomanski (Jami Gertz), who is also a new student. After blasting his mouth off and boasting about his incredible scholarship and the fact he is one of only two kids accepted for the debate-team, he asks Monica what brings her to Kenmont. "Debate", she says. The Southern boy is officially douchetastic after about ten minutes of screen-time.

Introducing himself to his new room-mate, Tucker is ecstatic when it turns out to be popular rich kid and debate team legend Garson McKellar (Tim Quill). They quickly become friends, discussing debate tactics and college life. Monica rooms with Donna (Amanda Peterson), a feisty but vulnerable girl who is unable to walk properly, wearing a leg brace due to an accident during childhood in which she was paralyzed. All four get to know eachother through the debate-team, and come to find themselves as top of the class.

Hanging out together outside of the classroom as well as in, Tucker and Monica begin to get to know one another and it seems as if, although serious debate-team rivals, they are perfect for eachother. Monica is defensive and hardworking, constantly making sure not to drop her guard and allow Tucker to get too close, even when flying off to take part in various debates here there and everywhere. But it's when the pair of them decide to spend Christmas at Garson's flash mansion with his family that things begin to change.

Realising Tucker and Monica are becoming more and more difficult to contend with on the debate team, McKellar contemplates quitting college. His family have high expectations, counting on him continuing the family tradition in law, and when finding out that his ambition is to get into play writing, they laugh the idea off. He feels trapped, and at one point almost drives his sports car over a cliff in hysterics.

The team are then off to take part in the National Debate Tournament versus Harvard. Beforehand, they all decide to go off celebrating, Monica bumping into Garson in a bar. The two have a little too much to drink and end up in his room, where things get heated and Monica freaks out thinking he's trying to attack her. He hits her to quiet her screaming and she flees in tears, running into Tucker on her way out. He chases after her, demanding an explanation to what has happened. Determined to find Garson and give him a piece of his mind, Tucker rushes to the hotel where he finds him back in the bar. McKellar laughs, saying "she actually though I was going to rape her!". His fists clenched, Tucker loses it, laying into his so-called buddy. The fight bursts out onto the street, where a crowd gathers and Tucker is pushed into the road in front of oncoming traffic. Tragically, Garson jumps in front of the vehicle to save his friend, rolling onto the hood of the car and being thrown into the curb, where he breaks his neck and lays there dying.

Both Monica and Tucker can't believe they've lost their friend and head of the debate team under such tragic circumstances and, intent on proving themselves and doing McKellar proud, they put all they've got into the debate tournament. But will they beat Harvard?

VERDICT: ★★ ½

Listen to Me is one of those awkward-to-categorise movies - mostly because, although being based around gang of naive college kids, it is meant to come across as a hard-hitting and serious drama. I don't actually know a great deal about debate teams, but apparently the movie is terribly inaccurate, depicting the whole scene in a completely false light.

The movie is really dated and pretty corny, and I image only of interest to those on college debate teams - although real debate team students would probably laugh at how misleading it is. The main point of interest for me was to watch Amanda Peterson in one of her '80s roles, before she disappeared from the acting scene altogether in the mid-nineties. There are some intellectually stimulating moments, mind you, especially the Kenmont versus Harvard tournament at the end. But all in all it is a pretty bland movie that doesn't offer any laughs or a huge lot of nostalgia (besides a shot of an old 'five grand' hunk of electrical equipment, apparently a 'computer') even for hardcore '80s fans.

IMAGES/VIDEOS: [movie trailer]

SOUNDTRACK:

1. Listen to Me - Celine Dion & Warren Wiebe
2. Love Dies in Slow Motion - Judson Spence
3. Dark Light - The Beat Farmers
4. Tough Days Again - Todd Sharp
5. Teach Ya How Ta Rock - Dominick Certo
6. Tutti Frutti - Little Richard
7. Forever Young - Alphaville
8. If We Can't Do It - Cliff Magness
9. Wanderlust - Donna Delorey
10. Who's Gonna Love You Tonight - David Foster
11. Happy Ever After - Julia Fordham