80's Teen Movies :: the classic, the obscure & everything in between: house party

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The Midnight Hour [1985]

"They thought vampires were a joke!"

It's the final day of school before the big October 31st bash at the old Cavender house. Resident brain Phil Grenville (Lee Montgomery) - who is patently good-looking even while donning the geeky specs - is preparing his class report on, rather appropriately, Halloween. The ghoulish holiday of All Hallow's Eve holds more significance to the townsfolk of Pitchford - or Pitchfork - Cove than your usual sleepy American town, Phil explains. Three hundred years ago to the day, one of the most powerful witches who ever lived - Lucinda Cavender - brought a terrible curse upon the town, releasing "all of the legendary demons of hell" and bringing "the dead with unfinished business back from the grave". And it was Phil's very own great-great-great-great grandfather, known as the Witch Hunter General, who put a stop to the madness, hanging the witch in the town square just hours later. But it isn't only Phil with intriguing ancestors. Classmate Melissa (Shari Belfonte) happens to be the great-granddaughter of Lucinda herself. If that doesn't sound like trouble enough then just you wait..

When Melissa, Phil and their friends Mitch (Peter DeLuise), Mary (Dedee Pfieffer) and Vinnie (LeVar Burton) learn that the town's Witchcraft Museum houses the authentic period outfits that once belonged to Lucinda and the Witch Hunter, they set about making them theirs for the costume party. Grabbing handfuls of artifacts from the museum's dusty old basement, the teenagers head over to the local cemetery, where they try on their newly-stolen costumes and rummage through the old trunk they found. Inside, they discover an ancient scroll, and without thinking twice read aloud the three hundred-year old curse. "Life to the dead, Death to the living. Demons arise". As the wind howls through the graveyard, the kids make a run for it, oblivious to the trail of destruction they've left behind. The ground writhes, the tombstones shake.. and within minutes the dead have exploded (and I mean exploded) from their graves.

As the annual Cavender house party begins to liven up, zombies, werewolves, and witch-turned-vampire Lucinda undertake in turning the town upside down, transforming the residents of Pitchford Cove into an army of the undead. But as the rotting corpses arrive at the party, nobody bats an eyelid - except for those who compliment the zombies on their impressive costumes! Meanwhile Phil is busy feeling rejected by Mary, who doesn't seem to even know he's alive. It is when Lucinda arrives that events really take a turn for the worst, as Melissa falls foul of her great-grandmother's sinister intentions and has the blood drained from her neck down in the wine cellar in a very creepy slow-mo scene set to The Smith's How Soon Is Now. The downfall begins here for the party guests..

Elsewhere, Phil has left the Cavender house and it seems that he isn't the only one feeling down when he notices a sullen-faced cheerleader (who he had briefly met earlier that evening) named Sandy sitting alone in the town square. When he stops to ask what's wrong, the somewhat mysterious but pretty girl replies; "everything". She explains that nothing in the town is as it used to be and Phil - who seems even more confused than the troubled girl - tries his hand at comforting her. They go for a drive and Sandy suggests they stop by the malt shop for a chocolate ice-cream soda, again baffling poor Phil, who follows Sandy's directions which lead them not to a malt shop, but a movie theatre. "Who would've believed it", the cheerleader says. "Five movie theatres crammed into what used to be the malt shop". Further puzzled, Phil wonders when on earth the girl could have possibly lived in Pitchford Cove - for all he remembers there was never a malt shop in the town. They share a dance instead and Sandy proposes they drive to the supposedly "hoppin'" Lookout Point. The romantic interlude is interrupted when the car is attacked by a wolf.. a werewolf.

Being Halloween, the police are having none of it. Phil, whose suit was shredded in the attack, pleads with the cynical officers who discuss the night's reports of zombies; husbands transforming into bats; the museum break-in and the vandalism of the graveyard. "Werewolves, zombies, vampires and little green men add up to.. lets all have fun with the cops. I got your report. Happy Halloween". It is then up to Phil and Sandy to somehow reverse the ancient curse and send the roaming evil back to where they came from. But before the night is through Phil will finally discover what makes Sandy such a curious girl.

VERDICT: ★★★★

The Midnight Hour is one of the most enjoyable made-for-television movies of all time, not to mention one of the greatest films to watch during the Halloween season. It perfectly encapsulates everything that is brilliant about the time of year: fun, mystery and fright. It has a nice familiarity too - reminding you of when you were a kid and dreamed of having an awesome adventure with your friends - very similar to the feeling you get when watching The Goonies. The film rests on the very fine line of being suitable for both adults and children and this is a rare thing for Halloween-set movies. Nobody is sliced-and-diced and we aren't bombarded with boobs, and while there are mildly sexual situations and some genuinely frightening moments (which would decidedly scare the crap out of a younger child), the film expertly spans across the age groups. From the tongue-in-cheek and madly misplaced Thriller-like dance routine to the ghastly sight of unfortunate victims being pounded on the head with rocks(!), there is something to entertain everyone, and is anything but tame for a television movie. Not forgetting the romance between Phil and Sandy, doomed from the word go and enough to tug on even the least sentimental of heartstrings.

Phil is your classic antihero; the geek, the nerd, the nobody. It just seems typical for this poor lad - who has just fallen in love and saved the world in the process (WAY TO GO PHIL!) - to discover that this incredible girl is actually one of the undead. You can't help but feel sympathetic towards the guy as he watches Sandy and the rest of her kind disappear into thin air, leaving him with only a memory of the night's unbelievable events - a memory only he can argue ever happened.

The Midnight Hour is the crème de la crème of Halloween flicks and will make you love the season even more than you already do.

IMAGES/VIDEOS: [movie clip]

SOUNDTRACK:

01. Clap For The Wolfman - The Guess Who
02. The Midnight Hour - Wilson Pickett
03. Sea of Love - Phil Phillips
04. How Soon Is Now - The Smiths
05. Devil or Angel - Bobby Vee
06. Bad Moon Rising - Creedence Clearwater Revival
07. Little Red Riding Hood - Sam the Sham and The Pharaohs
08. Get Dead - Shari Belafonte
09. Mama Told Me Not To Come - Three Dog Night
10. Sea Of Love - Del Shannon

Back to School [1986]

"Registration starts Friday, June 13, at theatres everywhere"

Thornton Melon (Rodney Dangerfield) is a millionaire businessman owning a chain of 'Fat and Tall' clothes stores. His son, Jason (Keith Gordon), is a hardworking college kid who is quickly becoming disillusioned with the whole college environment. When Thornton arrives on campus to deliver a bit of good news to his son, it becomes apparent that Jason is much the opposite of the swim team party animal that he made himself out to be over the phone. When he breaks it to his father that he's seriously considering dropping out, Thornton sets out on a mission to prove that - in the words of his father before him - a man is nothing without an education.

A lot of persuasion and one big cheque later, Thornton has enrolled as the oldest freshman on campus!

First things first, registration, followed by a trip to the college gift shop declaring 'free Shakespeare for everyone'! Next in line, a bit of a spring clean and spruce up for his new room.. Now three rooms in one, complete with hot tub and bar! First class - business - is a breeze, and Thornton shows more enterprise know how than snooty professor Phillip Barbay, who of course is rubbed up the wrong way by his new student's audacity. History class sees Melon acquainted with the nutcase Professor Terguson, but it's English Literature that proves the most interesting of the bunch, when Thornton meets the woman of his dreams: Dr. Diane Turner. The bad news is, she's dating Dr. Barbay.

Homework time.. And while Jason is busy studying in the library and eyeing up the pretty Valerie (Tarry Farrell), his dad is off partying with a bunch of college kids - partying defined by getting up on stage and performing his very own rendition of Twist & Shout (one which even Ferris Bueller would have a hard time contending with!). When Jason arrives on the scene along with his eccentric buddy Derek (Robert Downey Jr, who is convinced that crypto-fascists coined the term American Football as a metaphor for nuclear war), a fight breaks out between them and the uber jocks, who include Valerie's swim team boyfriend Chas (William Zabka). Unsurprisingly, Thornton somehow manages to elevate the situation into a full blown, take no prisoners punch up!

When Thornton does warm up to the fact he needs to get some work done, his attention is turned to Diane, who offers to help him brush up his skills in the literature department. The study session quickly turns into a date, with the pair retreating off to a swank restaurant for the evening - yet another reason for professor Barbay to despise his new, overconfident student.

Needless to say, Thornton's dedication to his school work doesn't last long. Soon, NASA are on the scene getting stuck into Jason's astrology homework, and when it comes to Thornton writing an essay on writer Kurt Vonnegut Jr., what better way to get the work done than by hiring the man himself to document his own life!

Party season arrives, and with Thornton having become such a big hit with his classmates, he throws the biggest bash on campus - complete with none other than Oingo Boingo as the musical backdrop! Over at the frat house, Chas and Valerie arrive to what is usually the biggest party of the season, to news of a bigger, better gathering over at Melon's. Chas - Jason and Derek's sworn enemy - isn't too impressed when Valerie suggests joining the party, resulting in a punch up between Jason and him later that evening.

The party can't last for much longer, Jason arguing with his father over his carefree behaviour and again insisting on dropping out of college. Moreover, Thornton's wild side has resulted in a fall out between him and Diane. Just when things couldn't get much worse, Thornton is accused of academic fraud and told he must undergo a gruelling test process by each of his teachers in order to maintain his position at the college. Can he joke his way out of this situation?

VERDICT: ★★★★

Back to School - while not strictly a teen teen flick, is a brilliant twist in the college movie genre. For this reason, it stands out among others of its kind - which is where many teen movies fail, lost among countless uniformal and easily forgettable plots. Hand in hand with some hysterical gags and some fantastically well pulled off moments, Back to School hits the nail on the head almost every time.

One weakness is the underlying plot of which the entire movie is based on and naturally, you would think the entire film would follow in the same unconvincing footsteps. However, that isn't the case at all and although the writing may not be anywhere close to revolutionary, the whole thing is pulled off tremendously by the hilarious Rodney Dangerfield and Robert Downey Jr. in particular. Essential teen movie jerk William Zabka (of Karate Kid fame, as if you didn't know) makes for the perfect egotistic frat boy, another faultless addition to the whole caper. And last but not least, an appearance by the band that made the rounds in the majority of worthwhile teen movies of the '80s; Oingo Boingo. Add that all together, and it almost disguises the flimsy storyline and typically run-of-the-mill ending.

IMAGES/VIDEOS: [trailer]

SOUNDTRACK:

Danny Elfman's score is the most common soundtrack you'll find, but if you keep your eye open, you'll be able to hunt down the alternative soundtrack on LP, which is worth listen if only for Dangerfield's rendition of 'Twist & Shout'!

1. Back to School - Jude Cole
2. Educated Girl - Bobby Caldwell
3. Learnin' and Livin' - Tyson & Schwartz
4. Everybody's Crazy - Michael Bolton
5. I'll Never Forget Your Face - Philip Ingram
6. Twist and Shout - Rodney Dangerfield
7. Dead Man's Party - Oingo Boingo
8. On My Way - Tyson & Schwartz
9. Respect - Aretha Franklin

The Beach Girls [1982]

"They're the hottest thing to hit the sand.. since the sun!"

Sarah (Debra Blee) has been invited to spend the summer at Paradise Beach, home to her Uncle Carl and his flashy beachfront pad. Decked out with a pool and sauna, it's the perfect place for a party - the last thought of the uptight, virginal Sarah. But when her wild and carefree girlfriends turn up in their convertible with a hunky guitar-playing hitchhiker, the beach house is immediately transformed into party central.

Party girls Ducky and Ginger are delighted that the pad is free of adult supervision, with Sarah's uncle miles away on a building site. The last thing he'd expect from his good-girl niece was for his house to be brimming with boozed up teenagers, trashing the place and running around with no clothes on. Unluckily for him, he doesn't know Ginger and Ducky.

Soon the girls have scoured the Yellow Pages, calling out pizza delivery boys and workmen, and ordering crate upon crate of beer. The driveway packed solid with vehicles, the party is in full swing, and things couldn't get much wilder - that is, until Uncle Carl turns up.

With music blasting and partially naked bodies all over the place, a shocked uncle Carl makes his way to find Sarah and ask her what the hell is going on. Ginger and Ducky overhear their conversation, gutted that uncle Carl expects the party to be long-over by morning and, knowing their entire summer of fun is potentially ruined, come up with a plan to persuade uncle Carl otherwise. Enticing him with a joint or two, he soon begins to lighten up and fall for their trickery.

The next day, the party continues. Ginger and Ducky head out to the beach to sunbathe, the dodgy gardener eyeing them up at any opportunity. Several large sacks are then washed up onto the beach, the girls eager to investigate. Surely enough, the six or seven rubbish sacks are full of pot, dumped overboard during the night by drug dealers out on the ocean. The girls rush back to the beach house with their enormous stash, generously dishing out helpings of grass to all the party guests.

After a guitar sing-along session, some crazed sailors storm the beach in an attempt to hunt down the discarded drugs and get rid of them. They throw sacks-full onto a bonfire, and everyone on the beach gets stupidly high. Sarah and hitch-hiker Scott then end up doing it on the beach, and everyone lives happily ever after.

VERDICT: ★★ ½

Being a 1982 flick, The Beach Girls is more '70s drive-in movie. It is a harmless romp with a good supply of skin, and probably most notable as the movie in which Debra Blee gets her kit off.

All that can really be mentioned is that the only morals we can learn from this little grindhouse flick is that the more sex, drugs and alcohol we can get our hands on, the more complete our lives will all be.

IMAGES/VIDEOS: [movie clip]

SOUNDTRACK:

1. Lover - Billy Kirkland
2. Try Not to Break My Heart - Linda Foote
3. I Want The Nighttime - Linda Foote
4. Go Undercover - Arsenal
5. I Wanna Go To Paradise - Arsenal
6. Hey Laddy Laddy Lo - The Cast
7. I Found Love When I Found You - Arsenal
8. Love Is Here - Arsenal

Welcome to 18 [1986]

"It took a little danger, a little romance, a big 'gamble', and a lot of luck to get them this far.."

Welcome to 18 begins with us meeting best girl-friends Lindsey (Courtney Thorne-Smith), Joey (Mariska Hargitay) and Robin (JoAnn Willette). School is over and the girls decide to have an adventurous summer together; they raise their glasses to 'freedom and fun' and are then off in their convertible to Lake Tahoe, where summer jobs await them.

The three end up at a ranch, which at first sight seems like the perfect summer vacation. But as soon as they are assigned their jobs, Lindsey, Joey and Robin all begin to wish they had stayed at home. After a long week of hard work and no play, the girls wait with anticipation for their wages. This turns out to be the last straw, however, and when they are each paid less than a satisfactory wage they pack up their suitcases and leave.

With nowhere to go and barely any money for a room elsewhere, the girls deliberate over what to do. Robin convinces Joey and Lindsey that she knows the perfect place - they take her word for it and drive out there. Soon they turn up at a flashy lakeside condo belonging to two guests Robin had met at the ranch, Talia and boyfriend Roscoe. The couple let them stay, and soon the girls and new best friend Talia are having a total blast.

It's not long before Roscoe has fixed the girls up with fake ID's in order for them to work at a local casino to earn some money. This allows them to move out of Talia and Roscoe's place and into a small cabin, where they are neighbour to outrageous transvestite Fuschia. Things seem to be going great until the girls are invited to a party at Roscoe's and it gets busted by cops. They are arrested on prostitution charges and thrown in a cell until Roscoe agrees to pay their bail money. Once released, they are given an ultimatum; pay up and get out of town or else.

Then one night, Talia turns up at their place bruised and bleeding and the girls realise that Roscoe is nowhere near as nice as they once thought. Lindsey then decides that she can win Roscoe his money back in a card game - thanks to learning some tricks in the casino - and the girls convince Talia to leave with them once they've paid up.

Will Lindsey win back his money? Will Talia leave with them? And more importantly, will they get revenge on hard-man Roscoe?

VERDICT: ★★★ ½

In many ways this movie is reminiscent of Modern Girls, the friendship between the three girls, the fashions - even made the same year. The scene where the girls get ready for the party is very similar to the 'getting ready' scene at the beginning of Modern Girls, too, and both have awesomely '80s soundtracks. One nicer aspect of Welcome to 18 is that it's not the usual lower budget '80s teen movie - no T&A! The whole thing is incredibly lighthearted despite the gangster subplot.

Both Modern Girls and Welcome to 18 serve as complete and utter time capsules, but don't take this one seriously - after all, when are summer vacations meant to be serious?

IMAGES/VIDEOS: [movie clip]

SOUNDTRACK:

Coming soon!

Dance 'Til Dawn [1988]

"The kids had plans for a wild, all-night prom. But no one expected a party like this!"

The movie starts out with us being introduced to geeky Dan Lefcourt (Chris Young). Trying to act as casually as he can, he walks into a flower shop and asks for a corsage for his prom date. Completely unsure of what colour corsage to buy for his "pretty cute" date, he rushes away from the store with the first one he is handed and ends up bumping into fellow Hoover High students; Patrice (Christina Applegate) and boyfriend Roger (Matthew Perry).

The scene then jumps to another store, where Patrice has met three girls from Hoover High, including the most popular girl in school, Shelley Sheridan (Alyssa Milano). We then see Shelley approaching her long-term boyfriend, Kevin McCrea and declaring that she - rather than going to prom with him - will be going to a frat party. Despite now not having a date, Kevin is off to a clothes store to buy a tux, deliberating over who could possibly replace Shelley. His two guy mates then spot Angela "Dull" Strull and her best friend Margaret, and one of the guys convince Kevin that Angela is "real easy" and "not that bad looking once you get her out of those geeky clothes". In the end Kevin falls for it and heads over the the video store to find Angela and ask her to the prom.

Angela and friend Margaret can't believe the coolest kid in school is giving them the time of day, let alone asking one of them to the biggest event of the year. Angela agrees to go with him, leaving Margaret to spend prom night alone watching movies. Its now a race against time to get Angela ready and, finding her mom's old prom dress in the cupboard, slips it on, does her make up and waits for Kevin to arrive. However, being a future student to bible college, Angela's parents (more specifically her dad) are reluctant to allow her leave. She slips out the back door into Kevin's sports car, but her parents are soon after her, following their every move.

Meanwhile, geeky and dateless Dan Lefcourt has slipped off to an all night movie theatre. It seems that Shelley Sheridan had the same idea, too, but is too embarrassed to explain why exactly she isn't at the prom. She warns Dan to keep quiet about her spending the night alone, but soon more Hoover High students enter the theatre and Shelley makes a run for it. Dan and her decide to go and get a bite to eat, but don't have much luck trying to lie low for the evening.

By now Angela and Kevin McCrea are at an Italian restaurant - with Angela's parents on the sidelines, spying on them. There are a few more disasters before Angela and Kevin head off to school, with the parents still following close behind.

Dan & Shelley hang out in the middle of nowhere, watching the stars and trying to keep themselves to themselves. But after Dan's dad turns with his forgotten corsage, it becomes apparent that he didn't go to the prom at all, and his dad sets out to find him. Kevin & Angela have arrived by now and everyone is stunned at how beautiful "Dull Strull" really is, being voted queen with Kevin king. Patrice is enraged at the fact she wasn't handed the crown and forces Roger to leave with her in the same limo they arrived in. Dumped in the middle of nowhere, it turns out that Roger has no cash to pay the driver!

The kids all make their way to Patrice's party, not knowing that the house is actually empty and Patrice and Roger stranded miles from home. Prior to the party, Margaret rushes to Angela to tell her some unpleasant news about the slimy Kevin McCrea. Angela snubs her best friend, telling her not to try and ruin the best night of her life, continuing on to the party.

Arriving at home early in the morning after a hellish night, Roger and Patrice are greeted by a smashed window and trashed house - the perfect end to a perfect evening. In the meantime, Dan & Shelley wake up after falling asleep in the car on "Mount Neverest, where everyone goes to make out!". Angela ends up going to find Margaret and apologising, and all the kids have the "traditional breakfast at Huds", where they all learn a thing or two about each other and reminisce over each of their very different night's experiences.

VERDICT: ★★★★ ½

Dance 'Til Dawn has to be one of the most undeservedly overlooked teen movies of the '80s. Probably because it was a made for TV movie - but it had all the qualities of a theatrical release. It has EVERYTHING rolled into one movie - the geek getting the girl, the unpopular girl becoming prom queen, a crazy house party, over-protective parents, popular uber-bitches, the prettyboy getting his comeuppance, Grace from Ferris Bueller (and her husband is even called Ed, like Mr Rooney. Bit of a coincidence, eh?) and of course the amazing prom scenes.

You will fall madly in love with Dance 'Til Dawn, and that's a promise.

IMAGES/VIDEOS: [movie clip]

SOUNDTRACK:

None available.

The Wild Life [1984]

"It's Casual!"

Enter a stereo-carrying Ilan Mitchell-Smith. Blasting out "Born to be Wild", he sneaks into a dark and dingy school corridor, sits himself down, lights himself a cigarette, and air guitars whilst sipping a beer. No sooner than he cracks his can open a torch is shone in his face, and a rather pissed off janitor bellows "school doesn't start till next week"! Making a casual exit he steps out the front of the building.. and decides to behead the school monument with a stick of dynamite on his way out!

Soon we are introduced to the whole lot, secondly Tom Drake (Chris Penn), a wild party animal who couldn't care about anything apart from his girlfriend - store assistant Eileen (Jenny Wright).

Then we've got Eric Stolz - sensible and hardworking, with a job in the local bowling alley working aside Tom Drake. Finally there's Lea Thompson, Eric's ex-girlfriend, who spends most of her time out the back of the donut shop where she works, fumbling with a horny older guy - who happens to be a cop!

Bill Conrad (Eric Stolz) is itching to grow up and get a place of his own, away from his army obsessed brother Jim (Ilan-Mitchell-Smith). He hunts down an apartment, barely affording the security deposit. After some convincing, Chris Penn moves in as his roommate. But things don't go too smoothly from here on in!

Anita (Lea Thompson) is still having a great time with her man - that is, until, she sets out to find him one night when he stands her up, and ends up discovering a whole lot more than she expected.

Meanwhile, Tom Drake is desperately in love with his girlfriend. But when Eileen confesses she's sick of his immature behaviour, she breaks up with him. Enter Eileen's boss - Rick Moranis - who attempts to arrange a cosy little get together for the two of them after admitting that he's had a thing for her since the day she started working for him.

What follows is a wild romp - destructive house parties, strip club punch-ups, almost-exploding cop cars, and a whole lot more fun.

VERDICT: ★★★ ½

The Wild Life is, well, wild. It lives up to the "unofficial Fast Times sequel" status and while not being quite as cool and witty as Ridgemont High, it does a pretty damn good job, and it makes total sense that it has now become a cult classic. It's a real shame that this is such an overlooked entry in '80s teen cinema as the majority of the flick is incredibly well-crafted, with memorable scenes and even more memorable characters. The opening sequence is awesome as hell, and just makes you wanna rock out with Ilan Mitchell-Smith.

Only one real down side to The Wild Life, and it is this: the disappointment you will feel after watching, when you come to the realisation that you, nor any of your friends during your teen years, were as cool as the characters in this movie.

IMAGES/VIDEOS:

Coming soon!

SOUNDTRACK:

Coming soon!

Where the Boys Are '84 [1984]

"When girls want a vacation filled with sun, fun and romance, they go ... Where the Boys Are"

And Where the Boys are, is of course Fort Lauderdale. Four college girl-friends decide to take a Spring vacation to sunny Florida, in the hope of getting a bit more excitement than their usual college lives. Jennie, the blonde and beautiful classical music lover, Carole, the one with a "steady" boyfriend and a secret wild side, Laurie, who drools over the thought of Conan the Barbarian and Sandra, a slightly prudish Texan brunette.

Their trip begins as they pick up hunky roadside rocker, Scott Nash, who too is coincidentally headed for the sun-drenched Fort Lauderdale. But when they arrive at a manic hotel full of crazy college kids and not-so-nice rooms, the girls are less than pleased.

Soon they are hitting the beach and local clubs, with Sandra managing to hook up her cousin, Camden Roxbury with Jennie, who admires his work as a classical pianist. Whilst on their date at a club, it turns out that the girls' hunky travelling crony Scott is working there. When he spies Jennie with the nerdy Camden Roxbury, he stresses out.

When Camden leaves Jennie after a measly few minutes chat, her and the girls party hard for the rest of the night. After downing one too many drinks, the apparently demure Sandra has to be dragged out to the car by Laurie, who saves her from embarrassingly stripping on a table in the middle of the club. The car is then smashed into the doorway of a hotel and both Sandra and Laurie are arrested, with Sandra slurring as many insults as she can come up with before being thrown in a cell for the night. Meanwhile, Jennie and Scott end up leaving the club together and things seem to be getting cosier between them until Jennie decides that things aren't right.

The next day comes and Carole and Jennie realise they need to bail the girls out of jail somehow. Carole then ends up entering a "hot bod" contest to attempt to win the cash prize. After coming second, enough cash is scraped together but only enough for Laurie to be released. Sandra is then left, miserable and alone in the cell, where she meets potential Mr-Right; a police officer, who decides to finally let her go.

Later on the girls end up at a somewhat formal gathering in the super-stylish home belonging to Camden Roxbury's mother. They mingle for a while, until the word gets out that a "party" is going on, and soon the chic mansion is being trashed by hundreds of boozed up teens. Jennie is busy practically kissing the ground that Camden walks on, as he plays her his masterpieces on piano. Scott interrupts, and Camden is soon left looking like a complete asshole. Jennie quickly makes her way out to the car to leave, with Scott following her and attempting a kiss. She's having none of it and heads on to the car, only to find that Carole is also keen to leave. Turns out that Chip, Carole's boyfriend had been following her every move; watching her strut her stuff in the "hot bod" contest. He winds up at the party, but Carole sees him with another girl.

Somewhere in between all this, Sandra discovers that the cop she's been dating actually has a wife and kid, and Laurie, after finding her Conan, learns that he's actually a male prostitute.

The film ends with all four of the girls getting their wishes, but in completely different ways than they'd imagined.

VERDICT: ★★★

Once you attempt to brush aside the fact that these "college co-eds" are actually thirty-something housewives (and look it!), you're on your way to having fun in the Ft. Lauderdale sun, '80s style.

Other than the amazingly corny ending, Where the Boys are '84 is an enjoyable girlie beach flick. If you remember vacationing in Florida during the '80s, it'll be a huge nostalgia trip. With it just scraping a 2.0 rating on imdb, and apparently being a huge box office flop at the time, Where the Boys are '84 definitely aint no masterpiece. But what do you expect? If you're looking for masterpieces, I have no idea why you're here.

Stop hating on Where the Boys are '84, and take a vacation.

IMAGES/VIDEOS:

Coming soon!

SOUNDTRACK:

1. Where The Boys Are - Lisa Hartman
2. Hot Nights - Jude Cole
3. Seven Day Heaven - Shandi
4. Mini-Skirted - Sparks
5. Be-Bop-A-Lula - The Rockats
6. Jennie - Peter Beckett
7. Woman's Wise - The Rockats
8. Girl's Night Out - Toronto
9. Slippin' & Sliddin - Seymour
10. All Fired Up - Rick Derringer

Secret Admirer [1985]

"Sometimes what you're looking for.. Is right beside you."

It's the last day of school and Michael Ryan (C. Thomas Howell) is in a rush to get out of school. Why? To walk home with his best girl-friend Toni, (Lori Loughlin) but - more importantly - her blonde and beautiful "best" friend Deborah Anne (Kelly Preston). When Deborah's older boyfriend turns up at the roadside to pick her up in his flashy car, she jumps in, blanking Michael and waving goodbye to Toni. Michael's guy mates then turn up in their van and drive off to his house, leaving Toni to walk home alone. Once at his house, Michael's buddies discover a steamy but anonymous love letter that he had found posted in his locker and hastily stuffed in his playboy magazine before running to meet the two girls. After Michael is convinced by his pals that the letter was written by none other than the girl of his dreams - Deborah Anne - he sets out to find her.

He confronts her at a party, blurting out lines of the letter until being chased by her boyfriend. Later that evening, Michael confides in Toni about the letter and the embarrassing confrontation. They both agree that Michael should write Deborah a letter or two in return, and much to Michael's delight Toni agrees to pass them on.

Craftily tearing open the written letters, Toni gags at what Michael has written and decides to re-write them herself. What follows is a story of confusion, as the original anonymous love-letter received by Michael falls into the wrong hands, and after finding their way through Michael's little brother, his mum, his dad's teacher and her husband, creates complete chaos.

Meanwhile, Deborah believes that the poetic and romantic letters re-written by Toni are coming from Michael, and Michael believes that Deborah is absolutely smitten by the letters which he had been writing. They go on a couple of dates, and on Michael's seventeenth birthday, Deborah throws him a party at Toni's house. Everyone invited is aware of Deborah Anne's present to Michael, apart from Toni, who - when finds out - is disgusted.

Eventually the truth and the who's-who is revealed, making an smileworthy ending.

VERDICT: ★★★ ½

Secret Admirer is full of '80s faces - C. Thomas Howell, Kelly Preston, Lori Loughlin, and finally a stupidly young Corey Haim playings C. Thomas Howell's little brother. That alone is good enough reason to check out the movie, though be warned guys - this total cornball romance at its most romantic.

There is no denying that this movie has a very cute ending. It'll make you smile, and although it is very predictable it has some laugh out loud moments. Like the writer of the love-letter, this movie is a well kept secret.

IMAGES/VIDEOS: [trailer]

SOUNDTRACK:

1. No Secrets - Van Stephenson

2. The First Day of Summer - Tony Carey
3. The Touch - Kim Wilde
4. She's Got a Part of Me - Don Felder
5. You've Been Lied To Before - Van Stephenson
6. Meeting in the Ladies Room - Klymaxx
7. You Might - Nik Kershaw
8. Just Dream Away - Rosemary Butler & Arnold McCuller
9. Leaving It Up To You - Timothy B. Schmit
10. Finale - Jan Hammer

Beach Balls [1988]

"Babes and Bedlam!"

Charlie Harrison has spent the past 3 summers eyeing up a nameless beach babe. All he knows about her is that she hangs out at gigs and likes guys in bands - only problem is, Charlie hasn't got a band. As well as not having his dream girl and dream band, he doesn't have his dream guitar, either. His ambitions of becoming a rock star seem like they'll never come true..

By luck - Wendy - the beach babe Charlie's in love with agrees to meet him and his best bud at a rock gig later that day, along with her girl pal Toni. The guys are chuffed - but as soon as they arrive it's clear that the love of Charlie's life is only interested in one thing. And it's not him. It's Keith, the lead singer of the rock band.

Things start to look up when Charlie's crazy parents decide to take a trip to New York on an anti-Satan rally - meaning a free house for a whole week, but strictly NO parties. His parents' warnings don't hold up for long though. Soon after they leave, Charlie hatches a plan to get rid of his sister for the night and hold a gig at their house by the beach, whilst raising money for his dream guitar.

With hoards of people shelling out five bucks to enter, the night is going well. Until the band take a breather for a bit, and Keith tries it on with Wendy. It all ends in tears, with Wendy realising what a jerk he really is. Charlie is there to pick up the pieces, and Wendy realises that she's liked him all along.

After some pretty close shaves with crazed brothers and overweight mothers, Charlie's parents interrupt the little get together - his mum passed out after having a nervous breakdown and his dad shocked at the state of the house. But wait. Who's that stranger from New York? None other than a talent scout, who, after Charlie gets a one-off performance with Keith's band, is practically waving the record contract in front of them. Score! So Charlie really IS a rock star, with his dream band, dream guitar and dream girl. Ahh.

VERDICT: ★★

Corr. Tits, ass, too many appearances of the boom mic..

If you're looking for a totally forgotten and mindless flick about partying it up on the beach surrounded by a bunch of metalheads while hunting for girls, Beach Balls ticks all the boxes. And if you have any interest in the calibre of the acting, lets just say one of the lead actresses was in a show called Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters from Beverly Hills. No, seriously.

IMAGES/VIDEOS:

SOUNDTRACK:

1. Say Hey Hey - Hans Naughty
2. Let’s Burn - Puss ‘N Boots
3. Time To Rock - Dr. Starr
4. Hear Us - Temporary Insanity
5. Burnin - Black Monday
6. Don’t Tell Me ‘Bout Your Boyfriend - Castle Blak
7. Scream For Mercy - Mox Nix
8. Paint The Town Red - Hans Naughty
9. Passion Fix - Dr. Starr
10. Party Town - Strut