80's Teen Movies :: the classic, the obscure & everything in between: love

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The Virgin Queen of St. Francis High [1987]

"She made a promise. He made a bet. They made a dream come true."

During a game of pool at a popular watering hole, shy, social outcast Mike (Joseph R. Straface) becomes enthralled by virtuous high school beauty, Diane (Stacy Christensen). Enter slimy, slick Brit Randy (Lee Barringer). We've already established that he is the villain of the proceedings due to all his sneering and heinously patterned sweaters. Under the impression that "the virgin queen" will succumb to only his charm, Randy proposes a $2,000 wager on the terms that sheepish Mike cannot conquer St. Francis High's ultimate symbol of chastity and have Diane spend the night with him at the famed Paradise Bungalows. Intent on victory, Mike and his clever accomplice Charles (J.T. Wotton) set out to bag the babe, the money, and to prove the school tough guy wrong.

Following a botched first attempt at attracting Diane's attention, Mike is plagued by a series of nightmares resembling a fanboy 007 movie. They tend to drag on for a number of minutes and involve endless slow-mo action, toy guns that go "bang" without bullets, shootouts in empty car parks and Diane, sporting a particularly bad perm, kidnapped by Randy, "spy extraordinaire".

At the nearby lake, a popular hangout spot for girls in bikinis, Mike and Charles steal some swimming trunks from a washing line and casually join in on the sunbathing. In a shameless ploy which works to their advantage, Diane is introduced to Bond - Mike Bond - and expresses some interest in him when he boasts of his alleged abilities in the water. She challenges him to a swim and he agrees, only to make a fool of himself and have his cool facade crumble when Diane must play lifeguard and rescue him from a watery death. Out of sheer pity, Diane spends some time with Mike, who gallantly saves her from a frenzied creepy-crawly attack in the forest. He tells her that a stay at Paradise Bungalows would be adequate gratitude for his bravery. Makes sense right? It's only courteous to fornicate with the guy who saved you from certain fate involving a daddy long legs. Alas, Diane just does not see the logic. She rejects, despite Mike's insistence that his intentions are good and true.

Next on the cards is lunch at Diane's place. Fearing the wrath of her mother, who is known for her vendettas against possible suitors, Mike covers his face and tells her he is severely deformed (which isn't too far from the truth - this kid is as desirable and has about as much personality as a sock puppet) so that he gains her sympathy. The prank has the desired effect and Diane's tearful mother commends her daughter for her involvement with such "a special young man", who she believes is some sort of modern day elephant man. Diane doesn't take the joke too lightly and is furious when Mike maintains the manipulative act, wearing a helmet as disguise. His guilty conscience catches up with him after leaving Diane's house and coming to realize the sleaziness of he and Randy's arrangement, looking to lay the bet to rest and salvage Diane's dignity. Set on seeing the virgin queen "knocked from her perch", Randy and his tough pals refuse to compromise, leaving Mike in hot water.

Against her better judgement and the advice of her best friend, Diane comes around to the Paradise Bungalows notion and tells Mike to make reservations. Her mother is left in the dark and the couple head off to the St. Francis High deflowering location of choice, where they let their inhibitions fly free and share a steamy, untamed night of.. Monopoly tournaments. When Mike does eventually get the virgin queen in his bed (through unscrupulous methods of story telling) the cabin is ravaged by a stuntman in a phony bear suit, interrupting the long-awaited deed. Lo and behold, Diane's purity remains intact.

The shock comes when smarmy Randy blabs about the wager and Diane's best friend is made aware of Mike's intentions. Soon enough, Diane catches on, demanding an explanation. Problem is, Mike has fallen for girl and refuses to accept Randy's dirty money, insisting he never got into Diane's pants and forcing the bet to be settled by other means. In a Spaghetti Western-style stand off, Randy and Mike briefly scrap before agreeing on resolution by chickie run. In a predictable twist of events, Mike is crowned chickie run King and is forgiven by Diane. And in an ending more sickly than maple syrup, the kids all become pals and Randy sheds his bad guy persona in favour of sweetness and light.

VERDICT: ★ ½

An irritating sermon posing as a provocative teen comedy, The Virgin Queen of St. Francis High fails to deliver laughs or raunch and whatever morals it attempts to preach are wishy-washy ones. Canadian made and on a budget shorter than a shoestring, the sets are limited, the script is bad, and the acting would have been better had the movie starred a bunch of cardboard cut-outs. Dubbing is appalling and the soundtrack (which would be the only reason to recommend this film) has been craftily placed to disguise the constant hiss of background noise. There are some truly awful IQ-lowering moments, including an absurd, unfunny scene where our hero repeatedly bashes a spider with a chunk of wood, the pathetically staged "bear attack" and the umpteen minutes of James Bond dream sequence that seems to have been slotted in as a time-killer. Chemistry between the leads is nonexistent and their blossoming relationship is flaky and unbelievable, built on nothing more than Diane's pity for the imbecilic Mike.

Distributed by Crown International Pictures - an unusual choice going by Crown's track record - The Virgin Queen of St. Francis High seems to have been made to teach horny teens a lesson. What you expect is a world away from what you get with this movie - it isn't even set in high school, the virgin queen remains a virgin, and the softcore porn expectations are skewed the minute you realize what you've let yourself in for is a PG-13 romance with Christian undertones. It can be commended for its innocence, though, which is a rare surprise. Notwithstanding, as well-meaning as The Virgin Queen of St. Francis High may have been, the end result is ultimately an unsatisfying one, and one that is best avoided.

IMAGES/VIDEOS: [movie clip]

SOUNDTRACK:

01. She - Brad Steckel
02. Tears in Their Eyes - Jay Sunday
03. For Love - Robert Hubele
04. Wired For Sound - Jay Sunday
05. Strange Things to Remember - Brad Steckel
06. I'm Your Hero - Brian Island
07. She's Giving It All Away - Jay Sunday
08. When You Lose Your Love - Brian Island
09. Heartache Woman - Robert Hubele
10. Wait For Another Day - Brad Steckel

Loverboy [1989]

"When Randy delivers pizza to the upper crust of Beverly Hills, watch out for the extras!"

Randy Bodek (Patrick Dempsey) is a college kid who seems to be flunking his way through his second semester without a care. The one thing he does care for is his roommate and girlfriend Jennifer, who he is madly in love with. So when his girlfriend breaks up with him thanks to a misunderstanding and his dad withdraws his college fund through dissatisfaction of his grades, Randy is desperate to raise the tuition fees himself, and get back to Jennifer to straighten things out. Even if it means wearing a moustache and sombrero while cooking pizzas in a greasy kitchen.

In comes the transformation: from college punk to Beverly Hills delivery boy in no time whatsoever. And it's while on a delivery that Randy meets the gorgeous Alex Barnett (Barbara Carrera), a sophisticated older woman who owns a chain of department stores and shows a little too much interest in the sweaty pizza boy! Soon after, Senor Pizza receive an unusual order from a woman in a suave hotel asking for "extra anchovies".. Randy has no idea how much trouble these extra anchovies will cause him!

The woman in the hotel turns out to be none other than the wealthy Alex, who is after much more than pizza where Randy is concerned, and Randy is more than happy to oblige. After a couple of dates, a $500 suit compliments of the wealthy businesswoman is dropped off at Senor Pizza for her loverboy, who happens to be off-shift, Italian stud Tony stepping up to drop it at his house. But when he arrives, Randy's suspicious parents begin asking questions, finding a note from Alex, believing this Alex is a guy - more specifically - delivery boy Tony! And so begins a downward spiral of false impressions and grave misconceptions!

Senor Pizza soon takes another unusual order, Randy eager to see Alex again. But on arrival at a flash mansion in the Hills, he gets a right royal shock - it isn't Alex at all, but an unhappily married woman wanting service from a professional to cure her misery! Reluctantly, Randy agrees. But before long, the downhearted women of Beverly Hills have acquired quite a taste for extra anchovies and the sympathetic Randy becomes their knight in shining armour!

The college fund is accumulating fast and the chances of seeing Jennifer are growing by the date. Unbeknown to Randy, his parents marital problems are growing too, his dad convinced that his son "is a fruit!". Eventually, the Senor Pizza secret is passed on to Randy's mother and, believing a dose of extra anchovies is just what she needs at this point in her marriage, calls up and places an order. Of course, it is a close shave when Randy arrives at the motel and scarpers before she manages to notice him, telling Tony to make the delivery instead, saying "there are no more anchovies". This only creates more problems for the Bodek family and sooner or later the truth has to be spilt!

Can Randy save his relationship with Jennifer and his parents' marriage!?

VERDICT: ★★★

Similar to the 1987 flick The Woo Woo Kid, Loverboy is a comedy filled - if a little slapstick - romantic movie. As usual, Dempsey plays the adorable loser whose life just doesn't seem to be going that smoothly, getting himself into predicament after predicament. Whereas I love to rattle on about the good amount of morals in Can't Buy Me Love, Loverboy doesn't have that same impact as the plot is a little on the far fetched side. We are supposed to believe that Randy, having had dates with all of these women who pay in the region of $200 for his company, slept with virtually none of them? And on top of that, it is okay to do so if you're doing it for your girlfriend, who takes the whole situation in her stride?

That said, you obviously have to take the movie lightly and enjoy the plentiful and not too crude humour, especially a particular dream sequence where Randy is being attacked by a crazed husband. The snowballing storyline becomes more and more hilarious as it goes on, as do the situations Randy finds himself in. The intertwining of the characters is pretty cleverly done, again maybe a bit too coincidental, but still very funny. Also entertaining to see a leather-clad Dempsey rocking out with bleached blonde hair at the beginning of the movie, sadly that image doesn't last for long. Those against anything overly romantic will probably gag at Loverboy, but if not, you'll smile at the sweetness of it all. For a more believable story, check out Happy Together, also a 1989 flick, with Helen Slater as Dempsey's love interest.

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SOUNDTRACK:

The soundtrack isn't really anything that special, one of the best tracks being Edie Brickell and What I am. Although the placement of Great Balls of Fire is perfect and the scene it accompanies wouldn't have been half as good without it. The rest of the tracks are a bit unnoticeable and after watching the movie you'll hardly remember where and when many of these songs come in.

1. Another Lover - Giant Steps
2. Walkin' the Line - Brian Wilson
3. One For The Boys - Brian Wilson
4. Melt Away - Brian Wilson
5. What I Am - Edie Brickell & the New Bohemians
6. Wild Wild West - The Escape Club
7. Anwyhere's Better Than Here - The Replacements
8. I Wanna Be Around - Tony Bennett
9. They Can't Take That Away From Me - Fred Astaire
10. Blue Tango - Claudius Alzner Orchestra
11. Great Balls of Fire - Jerry Lee Lewis
12. Tell Me - Bekka Bramlett

Valley Girl [1983]

"She's cool. He's Hot. She's from the Valley. He's not."

In true val style, the movie opens with best girl friends Julie (Deborah Foreman), Loryn (Elizabeth Daily), Stacey (Heidi Holicker) and Suzi (Michelle Meyrink) out shopping at the mall. With a good supply of plastic in their pockets, they whiz past various oh-so-eighties fashions - chunky rainbow-coloured bangles, patterned-pastel blouses and bright red patent heels - before stopping off for shakes and a good ol' girly gossip. Not long after, the girls bump into Julie's preppy "his brains are bad news" boyfriend, Tommy (Michael Bowen). Having had enough of him acting the jerk as usual, Julie dumps him, and the girls head off to the beach.

Busy scouting for boys, the girls set eyes on Randy (Nicolas Cage). Looking hunky enough half-naked, none of them realise that he is in fact the complete opposite of a valley girls' ideal guy - a Hollywood punk. Conversations switch to the big val party taking place that evening and before long, news of the event has gotten round to Randy through the eavesdropping of his pal Fred.

The party is in full swing, with jerk Tommy showing his face, much to Julie's frustration. Acting as a perfect distraction, the punked-up Randy and Fred crash the scene, the mouthy prepster boys not too pleased to see them. From across the room, Julie and Randy's eyes meet, immediately attracted to one another. But when ex-boyfriend Tommy catches wind of the fact his girl is being swooned by some kid from the wrong side of the valley, fists begin to clench. A rowdy confrontation forces Randy and Fred to make a quick exit, leaving Julie alone. Some time passes and she retreats up to the bathroom to spruce herself up, where she is shocked to find Randy hiding in the shower waiting to whisk her away.

Sneaking off to see some Hollywood nightlife, Randy, Fred, Julie and a rather annoyed Stacey stop off at one of the guys' regular haunts, a backdrop of alternative tunes and wildy-dressed kids. This is the setting for the beginning of Randy and Julie's Romeo and Juliet-like relationship, and match made in heaven.

But wherever Romeo and Juliet is concerned there's tragedy, with Julie's girl pals choosing to gossip about the pair behind her back, convincing each other that Randy is no good. Attempting to lure Julie back in with the val crowd, they try hooking her and Tommy up again. Their constant harassment leads Julie to a miserable downward spiral, refusing to see Randy, making herself feel worse. Eventually, Tommy schemes his way back into his ex-girlfriends life, pleasing the girls no end.. but what about Julie?

Prom night arrives. Everyone is excited, except a saddened Julie, who is on Tommy's arm. Putting on fake smiles all the way to school, things are looking dull. The prom King and Queen are ready to be announced.. Surprise! It's Julie and Tommy for the win. Just as her prom night is becoming the worst night of her life, Randy and Fred burst in, knocking Tommy out. This is Julie's chance. Time to decide whether to trust her heart, or her friends.

VERDICT: ★★★★ ½

Valley Girl is one of the definitive teen movies of the '80s. Of the Romeo & Juliet genre, Valley Girl is a prime example, easily one of the best teen movies of it's kind, parallel with the likes of Can't Buy Me Love and Sixteen Candles. One thing Valley Girl beats the two comparative movies on is the pure '80s-ness and the nostalgia brought about by almost every aspect of the film. The fashions, the slang, the hangouts - all practically sum up the early eighties in one movie. Showing the trials and tribulations of life in the valley in 1983, the pressure of social circles, expectancies of so-called friends, and generally making it through your teenage years and trying to come out on the other side with as least permanent damage as possible!

A fantastically enjoyable and classic movie about teenage love!

IMAGES/VIDEOS: [trailer]

SOUNDTRACK:

The soundtrack is one of the most outstanding of it's time, too, although the original LP is super rare and sought-after. So, for those of us not fortunate enough to be able to splash out on the real thing, two different CD compilations were released, crammed full with danceable, sing-alongable tunes. There are a lot of questions over what tracks are actually featured in the movie, as every version - the theatrical release, the original VHS tape, and the DVD - seems to differ on the music side of things. But these two tripendicular CD's are, along with Modern Girls and Electric Dreams, about the only soundtracks that a new wave lover needs in their collection!

1. A Million Miles Away - The Plimsouls
2. Johnny, Are You Queer? - Josie Cotton
3. Eyes Of A Stranger - Payolas
4. Angst In My Pants - Sparks
5. Who Can It Be Now? - Men At Work
6. Everywhere At Once - The Plimsouls
7. I La La La Love You - Pat Travers' Black Pearl
8. He Could Be The One - Josie Cotton

9. Love My Way - Psychedelic Furs
10. Jukebox (Don't Put Another Dime) - The Flirts
11. The Fanatic - Felony
12. She Talks In Stereo - Gary Myrick & The Figures
13. Oldest Story In The World - The Plimsouls
14. School Is In - Josie Cotton
15. I Melt With You - Modern English

1. Girls Like Me - Bonnie Hayes With The Wild Combo
2. Eaten By The Monster Of Love - Sparks
3. Mickey - Toni Basil
4. Zero Hour (Original Version) - The Plimsouls
5. He Was Really Sayin' Somethin' - Bananarama
6. In The Name Of Love - Thompson Twins
7. The Earthquake Song - Little Girls
8. Do You Really Want To Hurt Me - Culture Club
9. Cool Places - Sparks & Jane Wiedlin
10. Town Called Malice - The Jam
11. I Eat Cannibals - Total Coelo
12. Time To Win - Gary Myrick & The Figures
13. Voo Doo - Rachel Sweet
14. Marina Men - Valley Girls
15. Pocket Pool - Killer Pussy
16. Shelly's Boyfriend - Bonnie Hayes With The Wild Combo

Picking favourites from the soundtracks is an almost impossible task, what with the huge amount of bands and unforgettable songs featured (although if I had to pick one, it'd have to be The Psychedelic Furs and 'Love My Way').

Modern Girls [1986]

"They're old enough to know better, and young enough not to care!"

Margo, CeCe and Kelly are best girlfriends. With boring nine to five jobs, they take full advantage of the LA nightlife at every opportunity. It begins on an average day; pretty Kelly (Virginia Madsen) is busy at work in the pet store - the guys outside more interested in her than the kittens in the window. Glamorous Margo (Daphne Zuniga), bored to death with her less-than-glamorous occupancy as a telephone salesgirl. And finally, the carefree CeCe (Cynthia Gibb), having a blast as a department-store worker, making-over customers in the beauty section - until her boss sacks her for transforming a middle-aged customer into an unsightly and brightly coloured punk!

When work hours are over and the sun goes down, the girls return to their apartment, and after a quick power-nap, are getting ready for a night on the town. Kelly, ditching Margo and CeCe, decides to take the car and whiz over to a club where her kinda-boyfriend-kinda-not - DJ, local legend, and asshole, Brad - is playing a set. There's soon a knock on the door from Kelly's so-called date, Clifford (Clayton Rohner). Margo glances out of the window, noticing Clifford's convertible and, realising her and CeCe have no car for the evening, invite him in. He asks after Kelly, with Margo replying; "didn't you know? We're meeting her later".

Clifford - CeCe soon nicknaming him Cliffy - doesn't seem too pleased about being roped into giving the girls a lift, but, believing he still has a date with Kelly, goes along with it. Turning up at a club, the girls and Cliffy approach Kelly who is across the room, all over her DJ kinda-boyfriend kinda-not. Cliffy is gutted, but Margo convinces him to cheer up and forget about it. Margo, Cliffy and CeCe dance & drink the night away, unaware that asshole Brad has done his usual stunt and rejected Kelly, leaving her alone and miserable. All of a sudden, the club begins to buzz and CeCe is ecstatic when the chart-topping rock star Bruno X (Clayton Rohner.. yup, he plays duel roles!) appears. Attempting to grab his attention but with no avail, she literally throws herself on him.. BOOM! Love at first sight. The club then gets raided and everyone scarpers, Cece and Margo following Cliffy back out to his car. After a heck of negotiation, the three go on a hunt for Bruno X, failing miserably on first attempt and almost getting shot off the road by terrorists!

Gasping for another drink, they wind up in a club full of goths - not the happiest of environments! Suddenly CeCe's brain clicks, finding a pack of matches with the name and number of a hotel on - the matches Bruno had given her earlier on! In another bid to track down CeCe's apparent true love, Cliffy poses as Bruno in order to call the hotel and listen to his messages. Succeeding, they rush downtown to the location of his video shoot, hoping to find the rock superstar.. but he is nowhere to be seen. Quickly switching their priorities, the gang of three start to worry about Kelly and, rather than wasting more of their time searching for Bruno, drive off to find her.

Arriving just in time to rescue Kelly from a sticky situation involving ecstasy and a pool table, they bundle into the car. Putting two and two together, they come up with and idea that CeCe won't let go of, in the hope that it'll lead her to Bruno X. Turning up at an exclusive club where they believe Bruno might be hanging out, they swindle their way in with Cliffy being passed off as a cool Bruno X lookalike. Again, their search seems to be getting them nowhere, and CeCe's patience is running thin. When all seems lost - by a stroke of luck - she runs into a guy who seems to have just the information she wants about the whereabouts of the love of her life. Just when she thinks the guy of her dreams is within her grasp, Kelly disappears, whisked away by a guy she'd met earlier that evening. Cliffy and the girls start to worry about her and another mad chase ensues, leading to all four being held up in the police station.

Tired, weary and out of luck, Cliffy, Margo, CeCe and Kelly have just about had enough for the night. But CeCe won't give in that easily and, knowing Bruno X might be closer than they think, they give it one last go at finding the MTV star.

VERDICT: ★★★ ½

Granted, Modern Girls doesn't have the greatest plot, and to some may feel a little pointless at the end of the hour and twenty minutes. But, you will honestly not find a more '80s movie anywhere, ever. You've got LA nightlife, you've got clubkids and their outrageous outfits, you've got a bunch of girls living in just about the most trendily decorated and furnished apartment of 1986, you've got one of the most well-assembled soundtracks of the decade, you've got essential '80s stars.. The list could go on and on and on. Every single aspect of the movie is something that, today, wouldn't be seen anywhere. And for that, Modern Girls deserves to be bought a drink.

If you can't appreciate this movie for what it is, for the fact that it carries you right back to the neon-lit decade of synth-pop and flame-coloured eyeshadow, then you really shouldn't bother with '80s movies at all. You gotta dust your tape machine off for this one too, still out of print and unlikely to be released on any shiny little disks anytime soon. But, once the credits roll and you press rewind, the whirring in your ears of those reels winding themselves backwards just adds to the once contemporary, now wickedly outdated (and all the better for it!) experience of Modern Girls.

You'd be silly not to check out the treasure trove of a site dedicated to this movie, moderngirlsmovie.com. How cool is that?!

IMAGES/VIDEOS: [movie clip]

SOUNDTRACK:

The Modern Girls soundtrack is a great mix of new-wave and synth-pop tunes, and usually you'll find more than one LP/cassette up on ebay for less than the price of a hamburger. A great soundtrack, standout tune being But Not Tonight by Depeche Mode - then again, each and every song fits perfectly with the accompanying scenes, for example Weak in the Presence of Beauty which plays during CeCe & Bruno's first kiss.

1. But Not Tonight - Depeche Mode
2. How Many Lovers - Anthony & the Camp
3. Weak in the Presence of Beauty - Floy Joy
4. Girl Pulled a Dog - Femal Body Inspectors
5. Girls Night Out - Toni Basil
6. Concentration Breakdown - George Black
7. Jealousy - Club Nouveau
8. No Promises - Icehouse
9. One Way Love - TKA
10. Some Candy Talking - The Jesus and Mary Chain

The soundtrack is excellent, but is unfortunately incomplete, with many songs featured in the movie now near-impossible to get your hands on. Modern Girls lovers are often on the lookout for tracks performed by the voice behind Bruno X, Scott Rogness, however they seem to have faded into total obscurity - much to the disappointment of Bruno X fangirls (including myself).

Fire With Fire [1986]

"Two lovers. One chance. No time."

When detention camp teenager Joe Fisk (Craig Sheffer) sees the beautifully angelic Lisa (Virginia Madsen) in the woods during a camp exercise, he completely falls for her. He doesn't know her name or where she's from, but with the help of his best friend discovers that she attends a nearby Catholic school. Knowing his chances with her are slim, he tries to forget about her. With disappointment in his eyes he heads off back to camp, but meanwhile, Lisa's thoughts are on Joe - wondering if she'll ever see him again.

Some time later, Lisa and her best friend go to the movies together, and while queueing outside notice the reformatory camp bus pulling up. As the boys step off the bus, Lisa can't believe her eyes: it's Joe. Throughout the movie the two can't take their eyes off each other. It's only eyes for the time being as Joe is stuck with the reformatory lads and none are able to leave their seats!

Back at school, the class are discussing ideas for 'help the community' projects. One girl suggests sending clothes to Africa, however Lisa is unconvinced and dives in at the deep end with a wild and weird suggestion; invite the boys from the reformatory over for a dance. The teacher is none too keen, telling the class to vote on which project they would prefer. All but two hands shoot up for Lisa's idea.

The guys at the detention camp are told they are being invited to a dance at the Catholic school, and Joe can't believe his luck. A huge long list of rules are read out for the boys to follow, specifically not getting 'too close' to the girls and staying in the dance hall at all times.

When they arrive, things start off slow. After a while the dance picks up, although Lisa is nowhere to be seen. Joe avoids dancing with anyone, and sits on the sidelines wondering where she is. When she turns up, they both look for each other, and after introducing themselves, decide to dance. Joe confesses; "I saw you in the forest", and hesitates before asking "did you see me?". Lisa laughs, replying "Of course I saw you. That's why you're here!".

The dance lasts for quite a long while, and by the end of the evening the two have to be pried apart. Joe asks if he can call but Lisa tells him only parents are allowed phone the school. As he leaves, Lisa hands him 'a souvenir' - a photograph curled around the stems of a little bunch of flowers. As he leaves Lisa shouts "I'll tell Frank you said hi". He asks who Frank is, and she answers, saying "my father!". Later Joe uncurls the photograph to find her telephone number on the back.

When the chance arises for Joe to sneakily use the telephone in the camp's head office, he calls the school claiming to be Frank. He is put through to Lisa and from there tells her the lads will be working in the local cemetery and to meet him there. She does, and they continue to secretly see each other whenever they can.

Both plan to run away together - although not everything goes completely to plan, and Joe and Lisa struggle to avoid separation thanks to the interference of the law.

VERDICT: ★★★★

Although the ending of Fire with Fire seems slightly rushed and maybe not the most perfect of closure points, the rest of the movie - especially the twenty-odd minute dance scene - is marvelous. The two leads are convincing and sincere, and it genuinely did seem as though Joe and Lisa cared for one another. Many "forbidden romance" films were released around this time but Fire with Fire is miles ahead in terms of passion, emotion and believability. A wonderful, overlooked gem that shouldn't only be way up there on the list of greatest eighties teen movies, but also a highly regarded romance flick.

IMAGES/VIDEOS: [movie clip]

SOUNDTRACK:

1. Fire with Fire - Wild Blue
2. Computer Blue - Prince
3. Bit by Bit - Stephanie Mills
4. Heart of Rock and Roll - Huey Lewis and the News
5. Slave to Love - Bryan Ferry
6. If Anybody Had a Heart - John Waite
7. I'm in it For Love - James House
8. From Nags to Witches - Winston Sharples

The Wild Life [1984]

"It's Casual!"

Enter a stereo-carrying Ilan Mitchell-Smith. Blasting out "Born to be Wild", he sneaks into a dark and dingy school corridor, sits himself down, lights himself a cigarette, and air guitars whilst sipping a beer. No sooner than he cracks his can open a torch is shone in his face, and a rather pissed off janitor bellows "school doesn't start till next week"! Making a casual exit he steps out the front of the building.. and decides to behead the school monument with a stick of dynamite on his way out!

Soon we are introduced to the whole lot, secondly Tom Drake (Chris Penn), a wild party animal who couldn't care about anything apart from his girlfriend - store assistant Eileen (Jenny Wright).

Then we've got Eric Stolz - sensible and hardworking, with a job in the local bowling alley working aside Tom Drake. Finally there's Lea Thompson, Eric's ex-girlfriend, who spends most of her time out the back of the donut shop where she works, fumbling with a horny older guy - who happens to be a cop!

Bill Conrad (Eric Stolz) is itching to grow up and get a place of his own, away from his army obsessed brother Jim (Ilan-Mitchell-Smith). He hunts down an apartment, barely affording the security deposit. After some convincing, Chris Penn moves in as his roommate. But things don't go too smoothly from here on in!

Anita (Lea Thompson) is still having a great time with her man - that is, until, she sets out to find him one night when he stands her up, and ends up discovering a whole lot more than she expected.

Meanwhile, Tom Drake is desperately in love with his girlfriend. But when Eileen confesses she's sick of his immature behaviour, she breaks up with him. Enter Eileen's boss - Rick Moranis - who attempts to arrange a cosy little get together for the two of them after admitting that he's had a thing for her since the day she started working for him.

What follows is a wild romp - destructive house parties, strip club punch-ups, almost-exploding cop cars, and a whole lot more fun.

VERDICT: ★★★ ½

The Wild Life is, well, wild. It lives up to the "unofficial Fast Times sequel" status and while not being quite as cool and witty as Ridgemont High, it does a pretty damn good job, and it makes total sense that it has now become a cult classic. It's a real shame that this is such an overlooked entry in '80s teen cinema as the majority of the flick is incredibly well-crafted, with memorable scenes and even more memorable characters. The opening sequence is awesome as hell, and just makes you wanna rock out with Ilan Mitchell-Smith.

Only one real down side to The Wild Life, and it is this: the disappointment you will feel after watching, when you come to the realisation that you, nor any of your friends during your teen years, were as cool as the characters in this movie.

IMAGES/VIDEOS:

Coming soon!

SOUNDTRACK:

Coming soon!

Secret Admirer [1985]

"Sometimes what you're looking for.. Is right beside you."

It's the last day of school and Michael Ryan (C. Thomas Howell) is in a rush to get out of school. Why? To walk home with his best girl-friend Toni, (Lori Loughlin) but - more importantly - her blonde and beautiful "best" friend Deborah Anne (Kelly Preston). When Deborah's older boyfriend turns up at the roadside to pick her up in his flashy car, she jumps in, blanking Michael and waving goodbye to Toni. Michael's guy mates then turn up in their van and drive off to his house, leaving Toni to walk home alone. Once at his house, Michael's buddies discover a steamy but anonymous love letter that he had found posted in his locker and hastily stuffed in his playboy magazine before running to meet the two girls. After Michael is convinced by his pals that the letter was written by none other than the girl of his dreams - Deborah Anne - he sets out to find her.

He confronts her at a party, blurting out lines of the letter until being chased by her boyfriend. Later that evening, Michael confides in Toni about the letter and the embarrassing confrontation. They both agree that Michael should write Deborah a letter or two in return, and much to Michael's delight Toni agrees to pass them on.

Craftily tearing open the written letters, Toni gags at what Michael has written and decides to re-write them herself. What follows is a story of confusion, as the original anonymous love-letter received by Michael falls into the wrong hands, and after finding their way through Michael's little brother, his mum, his dad's teacher and her husband, creates complete chaos.

Meanwhile, Deborah believes that the poetic and romantic letters re-written by Toni are coming from Michael, and Michael believes that Deborah is absolutely smitten by the letters which he had been writing. They go on a couple of dates, and on Michael's seventeenth birthday, Deborah throws him a party at Toni's house. Everyone invited is aware of Deborah Anne's present to Michael, apart from Toni, who - when finds out - is disgusted.

Eventually the truth and the who's-who is revealed, making an smileworthy ending.

VERDICT: ★★★ ½

Secret Admirer is full of '80s faces - C. Thomas Howell, Kelly Preston, Lori Loughlin, and finally a stupidly young Corey Haim playings C. Thomas Howell's little brother. That alone is good enough reason to check out the movie, though be warned guys - this total cornball romance at its most romantic.

There is no denying that this movie has a very cute ending. It'll make you smile, and although it is very predictable it has some laugh out loud moments. Like the writer of the love-letter, this movie is a well kept secret.

IMAGES/VIDEOS: [trailer]

SOUNDTRACK:

1. No Secrets - Van Stephenson

2. The First Day of Summer - Tony Carey
3. The Touch - Kim Wilde
4. She's Got a Part of Me - Don Felder
5. You've Been Lied To Before - Van Stephenson
6. Meeting in the Ladies Room - Klymaxx
7. You Might - Nik Kershaw
8. Just Dream Away - Rosemary Butler & Arnold McCuller
9. Leaving It Up To You - Timothy B. Schmit
10. Finale - Jan Hammer